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Author: Guede Mazaka
Rating: PG
Pairing: Will/Elizabeth, Jacques/Jack/James, Jack/James, Will/Jacques.
Feedback: Please let me know what worked for you, and what didn't.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except this version of Jacques.
Notes: Jacques looks like this. He occasionally drops a French phrase; translations upon request. Sequel to Fairytale.
Summary: Jack really, really needs to learn to stop playing with strange magic.
***
Jacques finished filling the water dish and carefully inserted it into the cage, then latched the door. The cage's occupant was most unhappy with that, but luckily, the puppy-pleading look was much less effective when the eyes used were small, shiny and rather beady instead of the more familiar big liquid ones. "Will. Calm down. S'il vous plaît."
"Calm down? Calm down?" The other man's pacing grew even more frenzied, and his gestures almost worthy of Jack in their floridity. "Jacques, my captain is a bird. A tiny little featherball with an equally small brain."
Jack squawked in vehement protest while Jacques rolled his eyes. Staunch man though he was under most conditions, Will was still prone to the occasional attack of nerves. "I'm working on that."
"And while you are, he's getting into everything and nearly being eaten by cats and blown off by storms!" Will jabbed a finger in Jack's direction, then jerked to a stop and plopped to the floor. He flopped backward, a look of complete exasperation on his face. "Look, I can run the ship while he's-like that. And I can raid libraries and smuggle witches aboard for consultations. But I can't do that and make sure he doesn't get into trouble."
"He's right here, and his hearing is fine," Jacques placidly reminded the other man. He secured the cage to a rafter and picked up a bit of leftover fruit that was on a nearby table.
Will glared. "Fine. Jack. You're an idiot. You're also a bird. So stop trying to act as if you're still human, all right?"
From the tone of the ensuing cheeping, Jack was going to have some words with his second-in-command once Jacques had figured out how to reverse whatever Jack had managed to do to himself. That was coming along, but it wouldn't happen very soon unless Jacques magically got his hands on some long-lost texts that'd last been seen in Alexandria.
Anyway, it looked as if his top priority at the moment was getting Will rational. Jacques sized up the situation, thought briefly about what Jack would think, and then straddled Will. Who was startled right up to two seconds into the kiss. Then-oh. So that was why Elizabeth looked so smug all of the time.
Hands shoved Jacques off and, when he refused to roll away, stuffed him beneath a stiff body. Will's eyes were closed, and his face was set in an expression of utter frustration. "My captain is a bird, and his familiar is propositioning me."
"Well, I was. I'm not now." It was surprisingly comfortable under Will, so Jacques relaxed and suppressed a chuckle at the cheerful chirping from Jack's direction. "One of the first lessons I learned after I left my father's household was that passionate love and a good berth do not necessarily come together. Also, that the second is sometimes better to have than the first."
Will's eyes snapped open, dawning realization in them. "So you're saying…"
Jacques shrugged. Philosophical approaches to life were something that the English weren't very adept at understanding; they were a very practical people, and Will generally followed that bloodline. "I'm Jack's in loyalty, and he'll always come first. But he sees no problem with my looking elsewhere."
"And Elizabeth?" Of course, Will wasn't entirely cast from the standard British mold, and for that, Jacques was very grateful.
"If I'd followed her advice, we would probably have been doing this earlier." Honestly, Jacques' early training for gentlemanly society surfaced at the oddest times. It was easily shoved down, though. Just as the force of Will's kiss was now doing to him.
So when they broke apart a second time, Jacques was understandably irked. "Oui?"
"Sorry-I can't. Jack's watching." Turner looked extremely adorable when he was apologetic.
"You never seemed to mind when he was watching before," Jacques muttered, slightly less irritated than he normally would have been.
"Yes, but…he wasn't a bird before," Will mumbled, ducking his head. "It…feels too odd."
Sighing, Jacques reluctantly admitted that Jack's current state did put a crimp in many activities. A pirate ship was hardly a place for a bird smaller than a man's palm. "Well, what would you suggest?"
***
"The Pearl's not supposed to be in town for another month!" James hissed, hastily locking his door so no one would walk in on the extraordinary sight of Will Turner clambering in the window. Slightly encumbered by a cage containing a small black bird with a jaunty red patch above each eye. James' gaze was unaccountably drawn to the pet. "What's that?"
"A…a favor. I need you to take care of him until our next visit." Will proffered the cage with an exact replica of Elizabeth's wheedling look on his face. The effect was devastating.
"I suppose I could…" James said, slowly taking the cage. He blinked.
The bird had just winked at him.
What on earth?
"Well, like you said. I'm much too early. Must be going before Jack does something absurd. Bye." With that, Will slipped out of the window with admirable speed, leaving James alone with the jack sparrow.
***