Lance always loved the week before Valentine's day. He had, ever since the first year they were all together, before thousands of girls sent them plush toys and perfumed cards that never quite smelled right after nestling together. They'd been trapped in Europe, waiting for their big break and poorer than he felt comfortable remembering. That was the year that JC first bought them presents.

The presents were small then. Justin got a t-shirt that Lance doesn't remember. He remembered the look on Justin's face, though. He'd been homesick, slamming into his room and practically demanding alone time, when he saw the bag sitting on his bed. He'd ripped into it, smiling when he saw the shirt and running from the room to hug JC when he read the card.

They all hugged JC, one by one, after opening presents. Lance still had the book JC gave him tucked away in a corner of the bus. He'd never have bought himself a book of poetry, much less Allen Ginsberg, but he'd read it and talked about it with JC. He liked poetry now, sometimes.

Every year since then, they'd been surprised by JC in the week before Valentine's Day. Lance thought every year of trying to find JC something equally as meaningful, but nothing ever really materialized. He'd felt guilty that first year, and the year after that, but when he said that, JC hugged him and said that it was okay.

Their third Valentine's day, Lance bought JC chocolates. JC smiled and hugged him, but later that day the box was sitting on the bus counter where anyone could eat them. When Joey ate all the caramels and Justin picked small holes in the bottoms to see what they were, Lance thought that maybe JC didn't really like them, no matter how brightly he smiled.

Chris burst into house looking annoyed. "Did you get your JC present yet?" He was starting to look restless, not meeting Lance's eyes.

Lance shrugged. "Maybe he was busy or something. No one says that he has to do it every year."

It felt wrong, though. Early February was a time of anticipation, when JC walked around with tiny secretive smiles, and everyone else smiled back at him. Lance liked that, the fact that no matter what, he always had a Valentine.

Chris looked shocked. "But it's like, tradition or something. You don't fuck with tradition, especially if you're JC."

"Have you ever bought him something? I mean, like for Valentine's Day?" Lance was honestly curious, halfway hoping that one of them had given JC the sort of fabulous present that he'd gotten them.

It was Chris's turn to shrug. "Two years ago I gave him a couple of shirts from the Spring FuMan line. They were too pastel to really sell well, so I figured he might like them." He stopped and considered. "I never did see him wear them."

"He's hard to shop for."

Chris nodded and went to look into his refrigerator.

They didn't really talk about it, but as the next day dragged by, Lance was starting to feel confused. Justin was over to his house eating his food for lunch and talking about what he was buying Brit, and the day before Joey called him to tell him about how he found a darling red Valentine's Day outfit for Brianna, but Lance didn't notice anyone shopping for JC.

He asked Justin, "Did you buy C anything this year?"

Justin blinked at him, shrugged and said "C doesn't care about getting presents." A slow smile slid over his face, "It's not like Brit. She shows her appreciation if you know what I mean." He finished his sandwich and walked down the hall toward Lance's living room.

Lance watched him walk away and thought about the look on Justin's face all those years ago, before he had his perfect girlfriend and the ability to spend thousands to make her smile. JC made him smile with a ten dollar t-shirt and Lance thought that maybe there was a lesson there somewhere about gratitude and giving.

Joey didn't seem to be waiting for anything. He'd never really been lonely, never really needed things the way the rest of them did.

He had grand intentions, like the time last year when he'd told Lance about a plot to find some piece of sculpture that JC had admired in a gallery. Lance know that Joey had tried because he'd been the one to find the gallery's number online for Joey. The piece was sold by the time Joey remembered to call back and the plan to make JC smile faded away like most of Joey's plans.

They were sitting alone in Joey's living room, watching another dumb pay per view movie when Lance finally asked "So, what did you get for Valentine's day this year?"

Joey's face creased in a smile and he closed his eyes. "Kel, man. She surprises me every time." His eyes fluttered open and he shivered. "Dude, I'd tell you the details, but then I'd have to kill you."

"Yeah, well, I don't really need details." Lance threw his hands up in the air, waving the details away. "What did JC get you last year?"

Joey rummaged under his bed and pulled out a box. "Superman comics. The really hard to get ones. Like, an entire series. He must have spent a fortune."

"Yeah. He usually does."

Joey looked concerned. "Didn't he get you something? I seem to remember..."

"He did. And it was nice." Lance drank his beer down. "I don't care about the presents, Joe. C's been like, disconnected from us recently and he didn't buy anyone anything this year."

Joey threw an arm around his shoulders, laughing. "Do you want a valentine, Lance baby? Cause I'm sure Kelly would share."

Lance leaned into the hug, smiling a little. "Don't think Kel would be happy if you'd swing my way." He leaned back and raised an eyebrow. "Or do you already?"

Joey kissed him on the cheek. "You wish, buddy. I know you want you some of that good Fatone lovin'." He rubbed Lance's arm. "Do tell why you're so concerned about Jayce. There something I should know?"

"Get the fuck out of here, freak." Lance shifted away, getting up and looking out the window. "Not on my best day." He rubbed his stomach and fished his antacids out of his pocket. "JC would like, run screaming or something if I had designs on his body."

Joey looked at him, not smiling anymore. "I don't think he would."

Lance shrugged.

On his way home from Joey's, Lance thought about getting JC a present. He stopped at the closest mall, jamming a hat down over his head and shrugging into a hooded sweatshirt. Wandering through several shops, he didn't see anything that screamed out 'Hello! I am a thoughtful, personalized present.', and he knew JC would hate it if he spent money on something that wasn't useful.

Lance stopped by the Hallmark store, wandering through the racks of Valentine's cards, picking them up and reading them. None of them really seemed all that unique, and he amused himself by imagining the various looks on his friend's faces if he brought them cards with prints of cupids or rainbows on them.

Lance was ready to walk out when he saw the rack of special handpainted valentine cards. They were stuck off to the side of the register, and he was passing by them when one with a watercoloured sun splashed across the top caught his eye. When he picked it up, the paper felt rough and thick and the sun looked like it was hand painted. Inside the card it said simply, 'You light up my life.' and Lance thought that it was perfect for JC.

He took it up to the counter, almost choking when the girl said "That will be eight dollars and twenty five cents, sir." He handed a ten over and the look on his face must have been stunned because she laughed and said, "They're handmade. My boss thought they were pretty and well, they are, but no one wants to spend that much on a card."

Lance nodded and laughed and hoped that she didn't look too closely at him.

When Lance got home, he went directly to his laptop, snagging a soda on the way. He was halfway through answering his email, thinking about JC and the fact that he had no idea what to get him while typing brisk and abbreviated answers to questions he didn't remember after he hit 'send'.

He tried to think about what JC liked, but wouldn't necessarily buy for himself. The idea of buying someone else art didn't quite sit well with him, and a random piece wouldn't have much thought behind it, and Lance had an idea that with JC it was really all about the thought. He clicked off his email and took a sip of his soda, and a smile spread across his face.

Picking up the phone, he dialed Joey's number, waiting impatiently until Joey picked up. "Joe?"

"I knew you wanted me. Can't stay away, can you?" Joey's voice sounded amused.

Lance rolled his eyes and said, "Didn't C go to a wine tasting a couple months ago?"

"Yeah. He couldn't stop talking about it for like, weeks."

Lance sat back down in front of the computer. "Yeah. Thanks, Joey." He didn't even pay attention to Joey's questions, disconnecting and starting to type.

Google proved remarkably unhelpful, mostly because he didn't really know what was top quality. Lance didn't mind paying for something that would make JC smile, but he didn't want to take the chance of buying something that would make him wince, instead, just because it was fifteen hundred dollars.

Lance quickly scrawled his name at the bottom of the card, throwing on a pair of jeans and heading out the door. JC talked about a wine shop in Winter Park, about the nice people who waited on him, and the wonderful selection they had there. He just hoped that he'd be lucky enough to find someone that could help him.

An hour later, his bank account lighter, Lance was loading a case of wine into the back of his SUV. The salesperson had been exceedingly helpful, looking in the database for JC's past purchases. Lance had waved away the suggestion of a budget, saying "I want the best, and I want you to sell it to me."

The guy looked like he was about to wet his pants, and the cheapest bottle he'd shown Lance was nine hundred dollars. Lance nodded at the choices until he'd had a dozen bottles. He knew for a fact that even though JC had the money, he'd stick to the moderately priced bottles.

Heading toward JC's house, Lance felt around in his pockets for the antacids, swearing when he realized that he'd forgotten them at home. He thought briefly of detouring for another package, but he was only a few minutes away from JC's house and he wanted to go there while he was still excited and happy with his present.

In no time at all, Lance was knocking on the door, shifting his weight from side to side and waiting impatiently. JC flung open the door, grinning happily at him.

"Lance! And you came to see me! Wow!" And he started to pull Lance in the door.

Lance tugged on his arm. "Not so fast, Jayce. I need a hand with a little, um, present I got you. It's in the car and I could probably carry it myself, but I don't want to drop it or anything."

JC stopped, the smile fading off his face. "But why?"

Lance grabbed JC's hand. "Just c'mere."

The box was heavy and JC kept giving Lance weird looks, but Lance just smiled at him, while they lugged the box into JC's kitchen. When JC opened it, and started taking the bottles out, mouth open and making small happy noises, Lance sat on one of the kitchen stools and smiled.

Each bottle was inspected and JC hugged Lance, exclaiming "Dude, I wouldn't have bought those, but thank you so much!", making plans about which he'd try first. After he'd sat down, beaming at the bottles of wine that were sitting on his table, Lance plucked the card out of his pocket.

"I know it's dumb, but I thought of you when I saw this."

JC ripped open the card, examined the watercolour and read the inside. He smiled at Lance and used a magnet to put it on the front of his refrigerator. "You really shouldn't have spent so much money on a card."

Lance looked at him for one incredulous moment and started laughing so hard that he snorted.

"What's so funny? Cards are too expensive, and I know that one has to be more than an ordinary one." JC sounded puzzled, and that just made Lance laugh harder.

"You dumbass. That's fifteen thousand dollars worth of wine and you smile and say thank you, but then you complain about an eight dollar card."

JC looked horrified. "Eight dollars?" and Lance started laughing again.

JC started offering Lance things then, orange juice or beer or soda, something to eat. Lance accepted a soda and smiled at JC. "Happy Valentine's Day, dude."

JC smiled back at Lance, and then his face fell. "But I didn't get you anything this year."

"JC. You get us these incredible, thoughtful presents every year. You're allowed to slack off if you feel like it." Lance shrugged. "I can certainly understand why you wouldn't want to. I can't believe that you gave us presents every year without getting anything worthwhile back."

JC shook his head hard, his curls bouncing. "I didn't give you guys presents to get stuff back. That's like, wrong." He looked down, picked at the countertop with a fingernail. "I just didn't think you guys would notice if I did or didn't get something for you this year. I mean, you've all been pretty distracted with each other, and I didn't want to bother anyone."

Lance just stared at him. "I thought you wanted to be left alone. You're always hustling off after rehearsal and you like, never want to go out with us."

"I know you guys have more fun without me." JC still wasn't looking at him and Lance felt around in his pockets before remembering that he forgot his Rolaids.

"JC. I miss you, dude." Lance shrugged helplessly. "I don't miss presents and stuff. I just miss you being there, like you are when we're all jammed on buses and in hotel rooms together."

JC got up, walked around the table and hugged him. Lance leaned into it, liking the way JC's body felt strong against him, feeling the muscles stretch and smelling JC's shampoo. The glare of the kitchen light made JC's hair glow and made a nimbus around his face.

Lance pulled back, looking at JC. "You look like a fucking angel there."

JC looked down, blushed and said, "A freaky kind of angel, though." He stepped back, not really looking at Lance.

"Jayce. You're beautiful." Lance blinked, really wishing for the trusty tube of antacids to combat the vaguely surreal turn this conversation was taking. "I mean, could a thousand screaming girls be wrong?"

"Yeah, but who wants them?" JC smiled a little at the floor. "I want someone like you, who's not all tongue tied and who can laugh at me when I say dumb things."

Lance took a step closer, Joey's calm 'I don't think he would.' ringing in his mind. "Um. Would you maybe, I mean, not if it's going to freak you out. But would you maybe want me?"

JC nodded.

Lance stared. He cleared his throat. "R-really?"

JC nodded.

The five steps it took for Lance to stand in front of JC seemed like a mile. But when he leaned up and kissed JC for the first time, when JC twisted one hand into his hair and used the other to pull him even closer, the awkwardness was worth it.

Later, when they were upstairs on JC's bed and JC had his legs twined around Lance, making soft little gasping noises into Lance's neck while they moved together, he was even happier.

Even later, when JC threw a sheet over them both, heedless of the mess and the clothes scattered over the room, and burrowed under Lance's arm, kissing the dip where his collarbone met his neck, it felt right and Lance said so. "I've waited forever for this. Glad I brought you a present."

"Yeah." JC smiled sleepily up at him. "And the wine was nice too."

Lance laughed. "Sure it's not just the glamour of Valentine's Day?"

"Yep." JC looked pleased with himself. "Just wait til you see what I've got in mind for St. Patrick's Day."

~end~