Germany was colder than they thought it would be, and Justin hated being bundled up, seemed to think that only babies wore scarves and warm sweaters. Once his mother went back home, Justin found ways to lose his scarf where ever he went, ignored the warm sweaters she left for him in favour of body hugging t-shirts and draped himself over everyone to keep warm.

JC kept dipping into his meager savings to buy Justin new warm clothing, and Justin just blinked and smiled and thanked him. Two days later, the scarf would be gone and Justin would be shivering again. JC hated that, but couldn't help looking at Justin when he shivered and his nipples poked through the thin t-shirts he insisted on wearing.

If JC thought about it, he'd have said it was unfair that Justin was that pretty at sixteen. He didn't think Justin was going to have an awkward stage, just apparently a chilly one. It wasn't like it was a big deal, exactly, just that when Justin was cold, he'd drape himself over anyone who was by him.

By default, JC was that person far too often for his own comfort and sanity. When Justin clung to him, snuggling under his arm and grinning up at him, "Body heat, dude!", JC's mind went places that he just couldn't deal with. The first time that he went to bed, hard from Justin wiggling over his body in a drafty bar, JC was more bewildered than ashamed.

After the fifth or sixth time, he made it to an odd stage of longing and self loathing. Sometimes he thought that Justin knew exactly what he was doing, looking down and nudging JC's arm over his shoulders and burrowing into his chest, hands splayed out over JC's stomach. Other times, when he watched Justin do it to one of the other guys, he was certain that the kid was just cold.

He made himself think of Justin as a kid in self preservation, hoping that it would shield himself from the knowledge of the ripples of muscle under the omnipresent t-shirts, or the way his curls felt soft and scratchy rough against JC's arm. It made him feel a little less like an unwitting participant in an all boyband presentation of a Nabokov novel.

One day, he finally snapped out, "Justin, get a fucking scarf and a wool sweater, already. And get the fuck *off* of me." JC thought it was okay, even when Justin looked hurt and scurried over to Joey, who grabbed him in one of his bear hugs. He could stop wanting the kid in ways that would probably scar him for life, and no one would ever know what he thought about in the shower.

Justin started wearing winter clothes and JC told himself that he didn't feel lonely without a kid pressed up against him.

~end~