It should have fallen apart a long time ago. The other guys should have flipped out, but Justin hadn't let them. Chris should have been paranoid about being burned, but again, Justin hadn't let that happen. Chris didn't know how but the kid just had a way of keeping things bathed in sunlight, and even when his mood was more akin to a brooding storm, it never got dark. And Chris liked it, because it was familiar, but at the same time so much better than before. No more rules, no more safety lines, it was exhilarating and dangerous. Right now, Chris felt invincible.

Though he really shouldn't, because the whole thing had almost come crashing down. They'd almost been caught, not by the guys- they all knew -but by Justin's fucking mother who could have done anything, forced Chris out of the band, slapped him with a statutory rape charge, anything. Not that the knock on the door had interrupted much, but a moment later, Chris probably would have been tugging Justin's zipper down and Justin would have made a noise that would have made Lynn ask just what they were doing and review their answer with newly critical eyes. That was as far as they had ever (almost) gone, and Chris was sure it was a bad idea to push any further, because that was the kind of thing that always backfired a month later.

Apparrently, that didn't seem to matter because he found himself knocking on Justin's door a bare half hour after they got back to the hotel two days later. He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, but froze when Justin opened the door. He smiled tensely, "Hey, um-"

Justin smiled back at him as he moved aside, and for a moment he was indistinguishable from the pin-up boy they sold to the magazines- except the boy in the magazine would never wear such ratty nightclothes. Justin cocked his head when Chris didn't automatically slip in. "Don't worry about it," he tried. "She's down for the night."

Chris blinked, and finally dropped his hand. He shook his head, and stuttered, "Oh, that wasn't- I-"

Justin grabbed Chris' elbow and pulled him inside, "Get in here." He sighed as he closed the door, looking back at Chris, "I was just kidding."

Chris nodded, following Justin to the bed, trying to keep his eyes down, because he just knew he was broadcasting his thoughts like a radio. "I'm sorry about that, you know, almost getting you caught, and-"

Justin laughed, "Don't worry about it. She almost caught me and Megan so many damn times when we did stuff like that." He got up on his hands and knees, crawling across the bed to reach the TV. He looked at Chris before switching it off and the older man knew that Justin has seen it: the intent.

He made a thoughtful noise as Justin sat back again, splayed across his lap. It was a little awkward, Justin was just too big, his limbs too long, but eventually they found a semi-comfortable position; it felt like Justin's arms had wrapped around him twice. Chris slipped his hands underneath the ratty t-shirt Justin wore, sliding only his finger tips up and down the length of his spine. "What did you and Megan used to do?" he asked softly, wondering just how far past the limits of Justin's experience he would go tonight.

Justin's back was arching under the impromptu massage, and he spoke his reply to the ceiling. "Mostly just what you were about to do the other day," he sighed softly. "But I bet she didn't do it as well as you could."

Chris nodded, and spread his legs a little farther apart so that the curve of Justin's ass fit better between them. "Nothing else?"

Justin looked back at Chris, "No, but I don't wanna talk about it." Chris' hands, stopped, "No offense, but it's weird, you know? With you anyway."

"Sorry," but he wasn't. He had heard exactly what he wanted to hear. He rested his hands high on Justin's thighs, and wondered if he should turn back.

"So..." Justin said softly, moving that much closer. "You wanna?"

"Yeah." And Chris kissed him before he could say anything stupid and young, like 'cool.' He started to move his hands again, this time running his palms up and down the bunched muscles of Justin's back, lifting his shirt a little higher each time, then left them still at the small of Justin's back, preoccupied with the clever things Justin could do with his tongue. He teased it further into his mouth and began to suck softly, and he didn't break away until Justin made the noise: the soft little moan that usually told him to stop, but now just told him to move on.

So he slid his tongue down the tendons of Justin's neck, and when his shirt got in the way he removed it. And paused. Just waited, giving Justin a chance to reconsider, giving himself a chance to adjust, kissing him lightly. He pulled his legs out from under Justin's, eventually kneeling in front of him, and pushed him back against the bed until he was spread out beneath him. Justin dug his toes beneath the pillow, sighing softly when Chris planted his hands on either side of him and bent over close enough they could kiss again. He was grateful to be able to close his eyes again and just feel, because when he thought too much, it was scary somehow. He didn't know why, he hadn't even thought about it with Megan.

Chris moved away from Justin's lips again, hoping the purple tinge they were taking on now would fade by the morning. He dipped his tongue in the small well of Justin's collarbone, and then let his lips travel further down, taking Justin's nipple between his teeth and pulling gently. Justin made a surprised noise, and Chris smiled, there were still some things the younger man beneath him didn't know, things he could teach without starting from scratch. It wasn't too long before he and Justin were right where they had left off, his lips on Justin's stomach, tugging down his track pants, watching the rise and fall of his breathing get faster and faster.

Chris sat back a little, moving slowly now because it really was happening, and nothing but free will was going to keep him from ramming Justin's cock down his throat and seeing how long he could take it. He took a few deep breaths, watching the way Justin's hips bucked every time he brushed his thumb over the tip, then stroked him a few times, and curled his spine enough to slip the head past his lips, and plunge down. It felt better real than it ever had in his late-night, muffled fantasies because Justin's taste was still mostly sweet, and his scent was more sex than musk. But when he sucked hard on the upstroke, lips tight around the shaft he got the helpless shudder he wanted, but not the sound. He looked up to see Justin pressing the heel of his hand to his mouth, muting himself.

"Don't do that," Chris said, sharply.

Justin blinked, "But-"

"I don't care who hears it, let me hear you." And then he was quiet, and Justin wasn't, soon enough that million dollar voice was breaking. He was caught off guard when Justin grabbed a fistful of his braids and thrust into his mouth, bumping against the back of his throat. It wasn't any minor task to keep from gagging, but he held his mouth open and let Justin come. He pulled away when the hand went slack and moved to spit it out, but when he felt Justin's eyes on him, he swallowed like he had intended to all along.

He kissed Justin, sighing when long arms wrapped loosely around his neck, Justin didn't balk at all at tasting his own climax on Chris' tongue. He did hesitate- but only a little -to rest his hand over Chris' zipper, rubbing and pressing down.

"Lemme fuck you," he whispered into Chris' ear. It sounded like a great idea, only Chris was certain that Justin had never fucked a guy before and he didn't really feel like teaching him how to do right because all he wanted to do now was get off.

Chris shook his head, "Let me... for tonight, to show-"

"Alright," Justin replied, like he needed no explanation, no reason. He slipped his fingers down the collar of Chris' bowling shirt, and began undoing the buttons, and Chris found himself unable to do much of anything but stare at Justin's lips and their determined little half smile. Those same lips brushed against his bare shoulder, and waited for a moment. "You've been on both sides, right?"

Chris nodded, and began stroking Justin's back a little.

"Cause one time I- we... she told me to stop." Justin literally blushed, and hid his face in Chris' neck. "It really doesn't hurt?"

"Not if you do it right, which-" Chris pulled Justin away a little, "You probably didn't."

Justin gave him a nasty glare that faded when their lips came together, and every time he pulled away Chris would bring him back for another wet kiss until the tension in Justin's shoulders had faded. Chris got up off the bed, emptying his pockets of two items before shimmying out of his slacks. He kept his eyes on his feet and decided that no, he didn't feel a bit self conscious about the fact that, if one were being objective, he would have to say that he- short and stocky, with dark hair and pale skin- really didn't compare to the young, sinewy, golden thing watching him.

So maybe he was thinking about it. But it didn't matter because Justin had invited him to his bed, trusted him, and was now wrapping around him so tightly a few flecks of gold might rub off and stick. He waited until Justin was hard again off the heat and the anticipation to lean in close and tell him quietly, "Get on your stomach for a little while, okay?"

Justin flipped over like he didn't know what that meant, and Chris took one of the pillows and nestled it under Justin's hips. He plucked one of the items he'd taken from his pocket, a half used, year and a half old tube of lube that Chris had never thrown away and thank God for that because he wasn't about to ask some matronly German cashier for it. He put it down closer this time and began kneading the Justin's lower back relentlessly until the muscles rolling under his hands were completely pliant. He spread some of the lube of his fingers, tracing a soft circle around Justin's entry, watching his face. Sure enough the beginnings of a tight little frown was there, and when Chris pushed in, he tensed and Chris had to stop.

"Keep that up and we won't get anywhere, baby."

Justin turned a little, so he could look at Chris, "Sorry, it's just-"

"I know. What do I have to do to get you to relax?"

Justin shrugged and laid his head on his crossed arms, "Talk to me."

He could do that, and did, whispering all the hot phrases he could think of, until he got two fingers in deep enough to show Justin exactly why he should be opening up and asking for more. And then Jsutin did.

"Chris. Chris. Holy fuck, just..." he bit his lip tightly, letting it go when he sucked in a gasp. "Do it already."

He shook his head, and slipped in a third finger, "Wait."

Justin winced slightly, but shook his head, "Now. Chris, oh my fucking god."

He didn't even try to say no, and if Justin wasn't ready, too bad because he'd fucking asked for it. He ripped open the condom and rolled it on like he was trying to win a marathon or something. "Up, baby. Sit." Justin did as he was told, and Chris sat up against the headboard and pulled Justin to him, turned him around, spread his legs wide, and entered him, pulling on Justin's hips and raising his own until he was buried to the fucking hilt. Then he was still, listening to Justin's breathing and trying not to thump his head too hard against the wall behind him because in case anyone cared to take notice he was going out of his mind.

Justin was still for the longest moment, then began rocking impatiently. "Come on, come on."

For the innocent 'virgin' Justin sure was making a lot of demands, but it wasn't as if Chris didn't want to comply. He lifted Justin's hips a little, thrusting back in, and watched as Justin back arched in a way that was just too damn beautiful to bear... So Chris closed his eyes, and bit into Justin's shoulder lightly, and tried to let himself go. But he couldn't because in the back of his mind he knew this had to be dream, because reality had never felt this good before. He was gonna wake up and found he'd come in his shorts, and that was if he was lucky. Because if this wasn't a wet dream, he was gonna wake up with Justin next to him and have to face the music and then the judgmental eyes of his band mates at the breakfast table but suddenly none of that mattered cause he felt so fucking good.

He could tell by the sounds Justin was making that he was working himself on his own, and it figured because Justin hadn't realized yet that this, all this, wasn't about getting off. Chris blinked, if it wasn't about getting off, what was it about? He didn't know, but tugged Justin's hand away and replaced with it his own. His thrusts were getting shallower, and yeah, he was going to hit his climax soon, finally. And when he did, it took him by surprise and just defeated him. He fell back against the wall, and oops, he probably woke up whoever it was on the other side. Who cared? He pulled out gently and quickly threw away the condom, he'd find it later- or not -and focused his attention back on Justin.

The view was even better up close, with Justin's panted breaths stirring his hair, the sound, touch, sensation, and well, residue was that much more. Chris got up on shaky legs and wet a towel in the bathroom sink, wiping off himself and his hand first and then Justin's thighs, finishing with a few lazy circles on his stomach for good measure. He tossed the towel in the same direction as the condom, the wet pillow too. As he settled back with Justin he realized, that really, he just felt kind of embarrassed. Warm, and sated, and exhausted, but also embarrassed, because for the rest of his life Justin would know, would just know things about him that most people on this earth didn't.

"Talk to me a little," he told Justin when he lay down close to him, sharing the one pillow.

Justin smiled, and shrugged. He touched Chris on the shoulder, then slid his fingers down his back. "What do you want to hear?"

"Promise me in ten years you won't be on VH1 talking about how the bad man used to touch you." Tell me this wasn't a bad idea, he added silently.

Justin smirked, "No way." Laughing now, he added, "And if I am, I'll be talking about Lou."

Chris laughed and grimaced along with Justin, but he didn't really feel much better until Justin spoke again.

"I'm not gonna wake up tomorrow and demand my purity back or anything," Justin shifted closer, lowering his lashes a little further. "Ten years from now I'm not gonna lie about this so I have a clean record."

He was more than a little surprised that Justin had understood his fears, or even had the inclination to puzzle them out. Chris just laughed a little, and saved the serious conversations for the morning, "Promise?"

"Yeah, I do."

And for that night, it was enough.