...and maybe I’ll love you
by Scotty

~..~

He always parked in the same place, walking onto campus exactly the same way. Through the unlocked chain link fence behind the gym and across the courtyard to where three stone steps led up to the locker room. The door to the snack bar was propped open. A sure sign that he was already a little late. Joey needed his physics lab before the quiz and he’d left his math book in Chris's locker. So he wouldn't have stopped when someone called his name. Except that it was Lance. Driving a small white pick-up truck he'd never seen before.

He watched as the truck made a tight u-turn, then backed up to the steps. Lance bounded out of the open door with the kind of energy JC wouldn't have until at least third period.

"I need some help. C'mon."

"Lance, I'm late."

"I know. That's good or I would have missed you altogether."

JC shook his head and smiled at what he knew made perfect sense to the person who'd just said it. Lance Logic, they called it. A train of thought that left the station before anyone else could get on. He dropped his backpack and walked to where Lance stood staring at the tailgate. His first thought had been to ask why he was driving a Chevy S-10 instead of his mother's Taurus, but that same Lance, the one with 4.2 GPA, was now poking at the tailgate with the key, obviously lost as to how to open it.

"You don't need that. Here."

Lance stepped back as JC pulled at something black and mysterious that made the door drop down effortlessly. He leaned in slowly as if there was more to it, then smiled triumphantly.

"You have a truck."

More Lance Logic. He knew that JC drove a Mustang. An ‘85 GT that his father had lovingly restored and then passed on to his son on his sixteenth birthday. JC shared his father's love of muscle cars, but only to the extent that he could recognize a classic on sight. Like the 1970 Plymouth Barracuda with hockey stripes that was always parked near the mall.

But he had dropped the tailgate on a truck before. And Lance apparently had not.

The light fixtures themselves weren't heavy, just awkward to carry. But Lance seemed overly excited. Some-thing about Leadership Camp causing him to babble more than usual. Which, in turn, made conversation awkward. JC had to smile. Lance was a good guy and he wouldn't have minded helping out. Except that he was late. And not quite awake. And even less interested in a last ditch effort to get him to come to a school dance that night.

"I did my part."

His part was agreeing to be dragged on stage at the pep rally and blind-folded, along with four other senior boys. Then to sing nonsense rhymes and play air guitars because five senior girls wanted them to on day one of Battle of the Sexes. The guys had won easily, bringing the house down with their own version of The Muffin Man. Lance had beamed at JC and then handed him a baby blue t-shirt with the Male symbol on the back. JC had smiled weakly and headed for fourth period. Late. The only good thing about the whole experience.

Lance, however, was persistent.

"C'mon. You can't change your mind the day of the dance."

JC stacked the last of the heavy black power cords by the light bar and started for the stairs. ‘It'll only take a minute' had turned into half an hour and now the bell was ready to ring. And Joey was going to be pissed. He made once last Declaration of Independence.

"I'm not going."

Just yesterday Chris had offered his own theory on the subject. One of many he used to explain things he didn't quite understand. Like the behavior of teenage girls the week of the Sadie Hawkins Dance.

"It's like Empire Earth. Whenever you select a unit in the game, there's an options box that pops up. You can set things like what formation they're in and their level of aggression. Defend, patrol or attack."

Joey had started to nod. Computer games being something he could understand. But Chris shook his head.

"It's not that easy. If you lasso a bunch of units and they're not all the same, they won't let you select any of those options. And they end up going off on their own. You've got no control at all."

Joey looked confused and then Chris translated.

"Like the one following JC right now."

Chris pointed and they both looked past the sea of heads as a tall blonde disappeared into the language lab. But not before she had tossed her hair twice and applied fresh lipstick.

Joey switched games but kept the same story line.

"Accelerating to attack speed, " he squawked excitedly into cupped hands.

Chris picked up the banter. "You've got one on your tail, Luke."

"I can't shake him, Rogue Leader! I can't shake him! I'm going down!"

Lance caught up with JC again as the passing bell rang.

"Can I get a ride with you later? I need to pick up my car."

"What about the truck?"

"Not mine." More Lance Logic. Three in one day.

"I mean, whose truck was it?"

"Timberlake, but he's got practice."

JC nodded and waved, anxious to get out to the parking lot and off campus before being lassoed into anything more than a ride home.

JC knew Justin Timberlake. At one point in their lives, they had spent long weekends as members of the same tribe in Indian Guides. The Mohawks won the sailboat regatta every year without fail. Hollowing out pieces of balsa wood, then racing the tiny wonders down aluminum gutters. Somewhere he still had a rawhide vest covered with patches and a small beaded head band.

They'd both aged out at twelve. Justin moved on to organized sports. JC pretty much disappeared.

Or at least that's the way it seemed. Until they reached Northwood High. There were two years of JV basketball and then JC disappeared again. Wanting only to satisfy the requirement for graduation without ever taking PE. After that, they'd had no contact at all. Justin opting for Advanced Placement classes. JC wanting as much free time as possible. Away from school.

He'd once played piano but that too had been left behind. He was a singer now. The band called Nobody. More than once they'd been asked to open the Talent Show or to play an assembly at school. They'd said yes only once, when Joey Fatone's sister was named Homecoming Queen. Other than that, you had to know the right people. Go to the right parties. And you might get lucky.

Justin had not heard him sing. JC had not seen one basketball game other than his own. They had nothing at all in common. Except that Lance Bass had needed Justin's wheels and JC's time on the same day. And now they stood at the end of his driveway making small talk while Lance loaded the last of the hay bales into the small white truck.

JC's face had always been hard to read. His eyes intense. Focused. Justin felt like he had to fill the air with conversation or be overwhelmed by them.

"You missed out, I think."

JC's response came slowly as if he hadn't expected anything personal and had to switch gears.

"On what?"

"Playing ball. You should have stayed."

JC stared at him for a long moment and then shrugged.

"I don't think so."

He'd always had that James Dean thing going on. Even when they were younger. A loose, kind of arrogant appraisal of the world. Now as he put one hand through his hair, Justin thought that he looked a little wild. Unpredictable. And he felt drawn to him. If Lance hadn't spoken at just that moment, he might have done something about it.

"So, ready to go?"

Justin resisted looking away until JC dropped his gaze and nodded at Lance. He watched until the black Mustang pulled away and then slid behind the wheel of the truck. Lance studied him curiously.

"What was that all about?"

Justin didn't answer. Nervous hands tapping the steering wheel.

"Justin?"

"Yeah?"

"We probably ought to get going."

He nodded then started the truck quickly. His mind racing ahead.

"Is he going tonight?"

"What?"

"Chasez. Is he going?"

"To the dance?"

"Yeah."

"He has a date I think."

"So he is going."

Lance probably never heard the last comment in real time. Already tuned out and thinking about where to put the hay bales when they arrived and how to hang the last of the light fixtures once the volleyball team got out of the way. When he finally did nod mechanically, Justin never saw it.

His eyes were fixed on the road ahead. His thoughts somewhere else completely.

Chris had already expounded on the theory he called ‘Too much hairspray' and Joey was wiping away tears of laughter that kept coming even though the punch line was long gone.

"Tell him the other one now. The one about the lasso. You gotta hear this, Lance."

"Okay, but make it fast. I'm supposed to make a loop around the dance floor every thirty minutes to check on the lights."

"Wait a minute, Lance. Was that a segue? Lasso. Loop. Did you do that on purpose?"

"Just tell the joke, Chris. No wait. Why are you here? Neither of you has a date."

Lance looked at Joey who shrugged, then Chris giggled. A sure sign that they were up to something.

"No, but JC does."

"And we figured, win or lose, it'd be worth ten bucks just to see him at one at these things."

Chris stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out some used kleenex and a couple of coins. Which caused Joey to punch at his mid-section like a prize fighter. Lance watched the whole scene indulgently. then smiled. Happy for once to be having the last word.

"Well I hope you're good for it, Chris. He's already here."

Between four and six, JC had washed all three cars. Picked up his brother at the dentist and worked on a new song he hoped to add to the set they were playing on Sunday. The weather was warm for April and he sat on the wall by the garage trying to think about something other than Justin Timberlake. The ten minute conversation had been about nothing. But he couldn't stop thinking about it.

And now he was considering going to a school dance on the chance that he would be there. The kind of dance he hadn't been to since ninth grade. With black lights and a dj in the gym. With a girl he found attractive but not interesting. Something else he'd given up a long time ago and not missed.

So if he went, it was only because Justin would be there. Like Lance, floating around, making sure everyone was having a good time. No. Not like Lance. Nothing at all like Lance. And that was the problem. And he would probably have a date. Also not like Lance and very much a problem.

At 6:15 he was sure he had been mistaken. That nothing had happened between them worth thinking about. At 7:30 he was in the shower with no clear plan except that he was going.

And that maybe he would find out what it was he had missed.

Set-up had run late. And on any other night in his high school career, he'd have showered in the locker room and come back to the dance in sweat pants and a t-shirt. Without a second thought.

This dance was his last official act as Student Body President and he wasn't sorry to see it all end. Graduation was a month away and there were still a couple AP tests to take, but in his mind, after tonight it was over. He'd gotten everything he'd wanted out of high school and missed nothing.

Or at least he'd thought so. Until today. In Lance Bass's driveway.

So tonight Justin had gone home and showered. And changed clothes.

He was whistling as he walked back through the chain link fence and up the steps into the gym.

It had been lights out at school dances since his freshman year but tonight Justin was especially thankful for it. He had watched JC from the moment he arrived and felt reasonably sure that he'd done so in secret. He knew the girl. Not someone he'd ever dated, but they'd been friends. Now that her hands were all over JC, most of the reasons for that somehow faded away.

He probably shouldn't have been looking after the first kiss. But he couldn't help himself. And now he wished he had moved away. To some other spot in the darkened room. Because he felt lost in it.

When he finally crossed the dance floor, it was to the far side of the gym. Away from JC's lips and JC's eyes. And the way his lashes closed over them when he kissed someone.

He wasn't absolutely certain. Like he'd put ten dollars on it certain. But Lance was reasonably sure that JC had already gone home.

Chris and Joey were out by ten. After settling their own bet and forcing Lance to listen to one more tale about Chris and his family on a dude ranch in cyberspace.

Then just after eleven, he had seen JC. Up by the main exit door. And had hurried up the stairs to thank him. For the lights. For the ride. And that was it.

Or so it seemed.

Lance checked his watch, then angled past the group of chaperones and took a closer look. There was no mistake. It was nearly midnight and JC was back. Only now he stood near the drinking fountain, turned slightly away from the dance floor.

He was not alone.

Justin could not stop looking at his face. His quick mind suddenly empty of words. Wanting not to talk but to taste. To touch. The sound of his own voice came as a surprise.

"I want to see you. How do I do that?"

JC was very still. And at once, Justin remembered the moment this afternoon. The pause before committing himself.

"The band plays Sunday."

Justin felt the answer knot his stomach, but his face stayed the same. He'd missed a few free throws in his life. He could recover and make the next shot.

"I'll try to stop by."

He smiled genuinely and then pretended to catch the eye of someone on the stairs. As he moved away, he felt a hand on his waist.

"Don't do that."

He stepped back and it was a moment before he realized that JC had not taken his hand away.

"I meant that tomorrow's better for me. That way I don't have to leave. And then if you want, you can come by Sunday and hear the band."

The gym was almost empty now except for the night custodians and the last of the ASB workers. And, of course, Lance. His voice carrying across the gym floor.

"Hey, Justin! We have to move these hay bales out! Can you get the truck?"

JC dropped his hand. And Justin sighed and stepped away again. This time his words stopped him.

"Give him your keys. I'll take you home."

Justin looked over at him, eyes searching his face.

"I'll be right back."

JC let his eyes wander as the lights came on in the gym. Flags hung from the rafters heralding league championships in four different sports this year alone. One of them basketball. Another was golf. Chris had played golf and never said a word about it. He wondered briefly what else he had missed.

Justin was standing at mid-court now, a small army of students crowded around him. He looked up at JC suddenly, a crooked smile on his face. The enormous difference between 'I'll give you ride' and 'I'll take you home' finally catching up with him.

JC nodded and smiled. This time there was no mistaking the message. Everything about it perfectly clear.

They crossed the darkened courtyard to the parking lot. Letting their hands brush freely against each other. The incidental contact a thrill that brought color to Justin's face now hidden again in darkness.

As they reached the chain link fence, they heard Lance cackle loudly at the start of the truck's engine. Justin looked back to where the gym still blazed with light.

"I gave that guy my keys. I hope I don't regret it."

JC had just opened his side of the car and looked across the shiny black roof at Justin's startled face. He smiled with his eyes and nodded once. Justin slid down into the car, completely embarrassed and completely turned on at exactly the same time.

They reached the light at the school exit just as it turned green, but JC slowed the car to a stop. His face suddenly thoughtful.

"I don't know where you live."

Justin heard unexpected emotion in his voice. And wanted to give something in return. Somehow it came out sounding like Lance. About a block away from the subject at hand.

"I want to hear you sing."

JC turned toward him. His eyes seemed alive in the darkness as if burning with a blue flame. Today that would have unnerved Justin completely. But tonight he waited patiently, no longer feeling the need to fill the space between them. JC's reply spun that straw into gold.

"You will."

Justin bobbed his head once then nodded to the right.

"Turn here. I'll tell you the rest as we go."

A flash of white paint appeared suddenly by the car window. Lance spinning the truck's tires boldly, then honking and waving as he pulled out onto the empty street and was gone. The light had not changed, but the black Mustang sat idling by the curb. This time Justin didn't wait to speak.

"Don't change your mind now, JC. Everything about this feels right. Besides, my mom made chocolate chip cookies and we can catch the end of 'Predator' if we ever get out of this parking lot."

The signal by now had turned red, but JC pulled out onto the darkened road. The green light of Justin's words moving them ahead. In whatever direction the night was taking them.

They were standing by the front door when the flashback came. Of JC, the blonde wrapped tightly around him. Nothing about it bothered him now. It was part of something he cared nothing about. Like the trailer for a movie he never went to see. But JC caught the change in his eyes.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I was just thinking about something I said this afternoon."

"What?"

"That you'd missed out on a lot. You didn't, you know."

JC shrugged. His eyes warm and gentle.

"Maybe."

Justin nodded mutely, thinking but not saying, that he wished now that he had seen the movie so he would know how to get JC to kiss him like that.

"So what time do you want me?"

Things were suddenly quiet and Justin realized that he hadn't been paying attention. At least not to the conversation. And JC had caught him. Staring. At his mouth. And then had pretended otherwise. Rephrasing the question instead.

"Tomorrow. What time? To get your car?"

He should have been embarrassed, but he wasn't. In fact he felt a little giddy about it. A JC-took-me-home-from-the-dance kind of giddy. He wondered how many girls had felt that way about him. He'd missed that part of it completely. It had meant nothing until now.

"Is noon okay?"

JC was almost to the car, his keys making soft metallic music in his hand.

"Yeah, that's good. Okay, I'll see you then."

Justin felt a small surge of panic. JC was leaving and had made no move toward him at all. Now as he watched the Mustang pull away from the curb, he kicked the sidewalk in frustration. Despite having kissed dozens of girls in this very same moonlight, he'd had absolutely no idea how to make it happen for himself.

The laughter had started at the mall.

In Abercrombie & Fitch Justin had asked to see the muscle mirror with the alien aircraft light. The one that made the fifty dollar price tag on a t-shirt suddenly seem reasonable. JC had pushed him out of the store. Apologizing to the clerk and giggling helplessly at the same time.

At Yogi's CyberHub, they'd paid for two hours of game time, hit the vending machine, then sat side-by-side, in a room of computers all linked together. First playing Medal of Honor. Then Return to Castle Wolfenstein, a game full of zombies and Nazis that had somehow started them laughing again. The server for Empire Earth had been down. A symbolic, cosmic kind of coincidence that JC took note of but said nothing about.

They'd made a final stop at GuitarLand to pick up sheet music. When a young girl who had wandered away from her mother came over to stare at JC as he waited by the register, they pretty much lost control. Justin crossing his eyes and waggling his tongue. JC had grabbed the receipt and bolted for the parking lot, his face red with laughter.

By the time they left the mall, the Plymouth Barracuda that was always, always parked by Sears Tire Center was already gone.

Theyd been laughing again. This time in Justin's kitchen. As he filled his mouth with milk and then gargled with it. Six large chocolate chip cookies later. He smiled wickedly at JC. A challenge on his lips.

"Bet you can't do it."

There was the slightest change in Justin's smile when JC took the first step toward him. Then he'd just closed his eyes.

Justin's mouth tasted sweet. Crumbled cookies giving texture and definition to the kiss. And in every way, he had said yes. With his lips, with his tongue. And JC had pressed him against the wall. A hand up under his shirt. Rubbing his skin.

He had wondered why they'd spent so much time at the mall. This was it. They'd both known it. That once they got here. Away from the world. It would be like this.

It was a delicious kind of anticpation.

His brain had kicked into gear, then shorted out. Serving up snapshots of their day at the mall instead of where they really were. On the bed. In Justin's room. JC pushed himself away enough to speak.

"If I don't get out of here right now. . ."

A sudden movement of Justin's body caught the words in his throat. The Justin who seemed hypnotized, his body sliding rhythmically against JC.

"Don't go. Please."

JC was pleading now.

"Justin, we've can't."

He tried again to push himself away, but his arms were weak. Unresponsive. And his hands seemed tangled in Justin's hair. When Justin spoke again, his voice was thick and husky. A stranger's voice. But the warmth of his body gave the words context.

"Stay. We can handle it. Stay."

Joey would flunk physics and not graduate. Join the band of gypsies who played lounges in Las Vegas. No. Worse than that. Laughlin. A Ringo Starr without The Beatles. That is unless JC would give him the lab notes, so that he could copy them before lunch.

Lance was signing yearbooks like a movie star. A line of freshman girls waited patiently for his autograph. JC hadn't paid for a yearbook. But Lance had brought him one anyway. Insisting that he would be sorry someday. It was something he would miss. The words made JC wince.

"You know you're on ten different pages." Quite a feat, he added, for someone who spent so little time doing high school at all.

JC looked past him to Chris who shrugged then bit into an apple and continued his running commentary on the latest computer game.

"It's like I told you before. You just gotta understand it. You lasso them. Then tell them to defend a certain area. If there's a threat, they attack the most dangerous thing first. The most dangerous thing to them, though. So if the enemy launches missiles, they move to defend against them. But if a dog shows up and starts to bite, they fall off the other mission to take out the dog. Cause that's the most dangerous thing now. To them."

Chris took another bite of his apple and tossed it at the trash can.

"It's a real weakness in the game. I hate that kind of thing. If you play by the rules, you ought to get what you came for. Not have some stupid glitch wreck everything. Especially when you've got a good thing going."

JC stared at Chris for a moment, wondering why the words seemed suddenly meant for him. When the bell rang, he picked up his backpack and thought momentarily about heading for the parking lot and just blowing off the rest of the day. He crossed the quad to the language lab then stopped just outside the double doors.

He should stay. In a few days there would be no more bells, and no more snack, and no more Joey Fatone wondering why Bill Nye, the Science Guy, had glossed over Newton's Laws of Motion.

And no more Justin Timberlake walking by without ever saying a word.

He had stayed. Till the room was dark and Justin had fallen asleep. One leg looped over JC. An arm bent possessively across his chest. They were both fully dressed. But they had both come. Unable to control their desires once they got started.

Justin's parents had still not returned and JC wanted more than anything to be gone when they did. Not that they would remember him. But he would remember them. And be unable to explain why he was there. In Justin's bed. Instead of a tent in a campground at Buffalo Park.

He'd slipped quietly from the room. And on Sunday Justin had not come by to hear the band.

They had not spoken since.

And suddenly there he was. In the pile that Justin had picked at random. Blind-folded. Captive. His body language a mix of disorientation and denial. Justin had stared at the picture of JC. Transfixed. And then had slipped it into his folder.

The Spanish 3 final had been incredibly hard. And he had probably failed it. But would still pass the class. And he was determined to forget about it as he pushed open the door into the crowded hallway.

And Justin Timberlake. Who looked like he was waiting for someone. JC felt a sudden need to swallow. His mouth was dry and empty.

"Hey."

"Hey. You think you could come by later?"

Why was a brief, unwelcome visitor. And then was gone. For a moment they stared at each other then JC nodded. But Justin made no move to walk away. As if there was more to it. And there might have been had Lance not walked up. Already talking.

"JC. I was supposed to tell you something. At snack. But you were kind of busy. You know, the dragging and clicking girl thing?"

Justin raised an eyebrow and JC lifted both hands protesting his innocence. Lance tried to clarify.

"You know what I mean, the lassoing thing. With hairspray."

Before they could make sense of what Lance was trying to say, the tardy bell rang and Justin walked on. A brief lift of his chin the only indication that things had changed.

Some time in the past three weeks, without any contact at all, JC had let himself fall in love. With Justin Timberlake. Or at least the idea of him. And now with everything ending. With graduation just days away. He needed to know which one it was.

Lance's conspiracy theory had finally surfaced. Justin Timberlake had stolen a picture of JC Chasez from the activities office No doubt a senior prank was in progress. Something meant to embarrass him. And countless others. To Lance, it had made perfect sense. But JC had simply shrugged. To him, it had nothing at all to do with school. And as he pulled up to Justin's house and pocketed his keys, he was certain that nothing about this night did either.

There were a few awkward minutes. Filled with small talk. Not the kind used by strangers who don't know quite what to say. The kind used by lovers afraid to say too much. Finally Justin took a chance.

"I got a lot of crap for not going to the prom."

"You didn't go?"

Justin shook his head.

"Why not? I mean, the prom. I thought that was something you would do."

Justin had pulled root beer from the refrigerator door and now handed one to JC.

"That was around the time I leant Bass my car."

JC smiled. Obviously pleased. Justin wrinkled his brow.

"I never asked you to go?"

This time JC laughed easily.

"Not that I remember."

Justin's new car had taken them to the garage. On the way back, they finally kissed. Justin stopping to turn off the light. JC stepping into him, a hand to his side. The kiss was brief. Tentative. Justin's voice a whisper.

"Are you sure?"

JC pulled him closer, trying to talk even as he nudged Justin's mouth with his own.

"I'm sorry. I screwed up."

Soft dry lips brushed his face, unwilling to stop long enough even to protest.

"No. No, you were right. You were right to leave. I screwed up. Then I was too freaked out to talk about it."

They kissed again. Slowly this time. Justin's body shuddered, seeming somehow to change shape. Molding itself to JC. A liquid knee between his legs. JC thought he had never kissed anyone quite like this. So deep that he could taste him. The salt and the sweet inside his mouth. Soft pressure as he pulled at his tongue. His lips. Kissing Justin was something remarkable. Worth all the questioning and doubt.

It was also intimate. And private. Not meant for anyone else to see. Or for the hallway where they now stood.

"Justin. Your parents."

"I know. Just a liitle bit longer. I need this right now."

JC brought his mouth to Justin's chin. Then to his lips. Very softly this time. Whispering into his mouth.

"Then you can have it."

When JC finally looked past him, he saw books and papers strewn across the couch and the coffee table. Justin followed his gaze and then looked back sheepishly

"AP Bio."

"When are you doing this?"

"Tomorrow."

JC looked at Justin. A hint of hero worship in his voice.

"The difference between Harvard and Stanford?"

Justin started to laugh, then flipped the pencil he'd been fingering high into the air.

"No way. I'm just trying to save my folks some money." He smiled and again shook his head. "You have a really inflated idea of who I am. I'm just like you, JC. I'm just like you."

"No. You're nothing like me."

"Oh yes I am. I have to hit the books. That's why I'm doing this."

JC looked again at the notebooks and papers and turned back to the door. Justin seemed startled.

"Wait. Where are you going?"

"You need to get back to that. And I have stuff I could be doing."

"Have you been home yet?"

"What?"

"Are your books in the car?"

JC nodded.

"Then stay. Don't go."

He watched the emotion cross JC's face. Then move through his body. Justin had used those words before. And JC had heard him. And he had stayed. The single most complicated circumstance of their lives. But tonight seemed more important even than that. Because it was a chance to do something real. Under the most normal of circumstances. With books and root beer and game one of the Western Conference Championship on in the background. The kind of thing they should be doing. That is, if they were going to be together now.

JC smiled. His response easy-going. Not a hint of the past anywhere in sight.

"What is this, a study date?"

Justin winked at him then crossed to the couch and picked up his notes. JC was on the landing near the front door when he heard Justin begin to sing.

If you'll just let me try, my baby listen
I'll help you find what you've been missing

When JC walked back into the room, his face was a mix of wonder and confusion.

"I thought you didn't come."

Justin's response was quick.

"I didn't. At least not after you left."

He could tell at once that his teasing response had been a mistake and cursed himself for it. When he looked up, JC was watching him. He did not look away.

"I made sure you didn't see me. I didn't know if you wanted me there. So I waited for you to sing and I left."

They were both quiet again. Then JC turned back toward the door.

"I'll get my stuff."

He had dropped the graduation robe into a box marked A-C and been given a real diploma in return. It had never occurred to him until after the ceremony that the blue and gold folder presented by the principal of Northwood High might actually be empty. All pomp and no circumstance. It made sense. Otherwise, the Joey Fatones of the world would toss their graduation garb out the window of the car as they exited the parking lot. Never to be seen again. So the real thing was only available after taking at least four semesters of PE, clearing all library fines, and lining up in your alphabetical cut one last time.

Sunset had made the sky pretty in pink. He stood now on the top step of the granite stairs just outside the gym. Nothing about the graduation itself had affected JC as much as being in this spot. Looking out past the basketball courts to where the chain link fence opened to the real world.

When Lance called his name, the moment seemed almost complete.

"JC, hey. Can I get a ride with you? I thought I'd be stuck here longer. Now my folks took off and I don't have a car."

He took a moment to appreciate the image of Lance, the graduate, in all his splendor. Tassles and medallions and cords all vying for the pole position. He looked happy. And JC was happy for him. And for himself.

"Sorry, Lance. I didn't drive either. But you might catch Chris. He's still in the gym trying to talk his way out of there. I don't think he's into Grad Night, but I'm sure he'd drop you off."

"You want to wait? I'll go see."

"No, that's okay. Justin's taking me home."

Lance had started past him, then turned back, a knowing smile on his face. He nodded once then headed for the open doors and the gym beyond. JC had chosen the words carefully. It had been easier than he thought.

There was something a little too Pat Boone and "April Love" about driving Justin's car home from graduation. So although he'd had tossed him the keys and smiled, JC had slid into the passenger's seat instead. Now with the car started, Justin had yet to put it in gear. He looked over at JC, his voice sentimental and sweet.

"I wish I could kiss you right now."

JC did not look his way, but simply bobbed his head, unable to speak.

"Okay, we're out out of here."

When they reached the exit at the bottom of the parking lot, the light was green, but Justin pulled over to the curb. Wondering again how much time would go by before things stopped reminding him of their first night together.

"Where to?"

JC pulled at his tie, then rolled down the window.

"We can do Grad Night if you want."

Justin reached across the back of the seat, his hand brushing JC's neck. Then gently tugged at the curls that had been tamed and shorn in honor of the occasion.

"I don't think so."

JC looked at him and smiled.

"Then turn right here. I'll tell you the rest as we go."

Justin leaned over, boldly brushing his lips with a kiss. Then took his foot off the brake and spun the tires once in celebration before pulling out onto the busy street.

The sound of a generic boyband filling the cool night air.