Been Falling
By Miss Kitty

~..~

I don't know how

~..~

"What was that?" Justin asked. Joey had him spread out on the couch and he hadn't really been listening. He hitched up legs around Joey's waist, and lifted his hips up. Having sex with Joey was always surprisingly athletic. Justin hadn't really known what to expect but it hadn't been getting fucked against walls and on the floor and behind the tinted windows of Joey's SUV. Fucking Joey was always hot and sweaty and just for fun.

"I'm going up to Toronto tomorrow," Joey said into Justin's neck while he undid the zipper on vintage Levis.

"Uh huh," Justin murmured. He didn't really care where Joey went tomorrow so long as he finished the job here first.

"Yeah, for three weeks. Maybe more." Joey had the pants open and put a questing hand in.

"Oh," Justin said, softly. When they'd started after two weeks of just flirting and joking about it, Justin assumed that that it would end, nice and tidy, on it's own. They'd been doing it for almost a month and he still didn't want to stop. He didn't want it to end.

Later, Justin took a shower because while he didn't mind sweating while on stage, or working out or fucking, he hated to just sit there feeling it dry. When he came back, wrapped in a towel because his clothes were still on the floor of the TV room, he asked, "Should I go?"

Joey looked up from the 10 'o' clock news, "Huh?"

Justin motioned towards the front door, "Should I go home? I mean if you got an early morning tomorrow, I don't want to keep you up or anything."

"Oh," Joey said. He looked back at the news, and waved Justin over. "Nah, don't worry about it."

The next morning Joey put his knee on the bed, rubbing Justin's back until he woke up. "There's Cap'n Crunch in the cupboard. Lock the door on your way out, okay?"

"Mm," Justin mumbled. He opened his eyes and looked at the clock, saw that it was 7:34 and closed them again. He woke up again at 9:47 and Joey was gone. The house was quiet. Joey liked noise, and it was a safe bet that if Joey were home there'd be a TV or radio on, or, barring that, Joey singing an operatic rendition of the Goldfish jingle. Instead, everything was turned off and Joey was somewhere over St. Louis. Justin went downstairs, had two bowls of cereal in Joey's tacky 50s diner kitchen, and locked the front door on his way out.

I lose my step

The next day he got bored and called up Chris. "Oh, you are not calling me up now," Chris said when he picked up the phone. Justin hated it when Chris started conversations in the middle. Sure, he had caller ID, but that didn't mean he shouldn't say a fucking "hello" once in a while. "What do you want?" Chris asked, not letting him answer. "To hang out?"

"Well, yeah," Justin said. "Is that a problem?"

"You bet your multi-million dollar ass it is. You haven't called me in months! Well, not since you started fucking Joey."

"Hey shut up." It wasn't really a secret, but Justin liked to think it was.

"Yeah, yeah. The point is that Chris Kirkpatrick is nobody's understudy. You think I just sit around here waiting for you to call me up?"

Justin snorted, "Tell me then, what do you got planned for today, huh?"

Chris was quiet for a moment, "I got nothing. 'Cept some new games. So fresh the instructions are still in Japanese. Wanna come over?"

Chris had learned basic Japanese grammar to play games before they were translated and shipped over to America. Justin thought that was pretty lame, but the games were cool. He went over to Chris' and played until they got bored and went out. When he got home there was a message waiting for him. Well, seventeen messages really, but only one he cared about.

"Hey man, it's Joey. I'm in the Great White North and it blows. Catch you later, I guess."

He wondered why Joey hadn't called Chris too. But maybe he had just called JC next and got tied up.

I lose my ground

He missed Joey a lot. It wasn't like he didn't get around all right. He was Justin Timberlake, after all, and Joey had shown him how to find the right kind of girls, the ones who wouldn't talk or cry. It was more than that though, more than being able to just call someone up at 2pm and ask for a quickie. Joey was comfortable to be around, for one thing. Justin had never fucked anyone who he felt comfortable around enough to lounge on the couch afterwards, naked and watching an Adam Sandler movie. It wasn't that he was self conscious of his body, just that it was a strange thing to do. It never felt strange with Joey though.

Justin got hot while playing basketball with Chris, and took off his shirt. Chris looked him up and down and rolled his eyes.

"What?"

Chris shrugged, "Nothing! I guess if you got, you flaunt it."

Justin sighed and chucked the ball at him. "I'm just hot, Chris."

"Yeah, you're real hot," he laughed. "I don't know how I'm going to play when I'm all distracted by your navel."

"I meant temperature-wise, you ass."

"Sure, sure," Chris didn't sound convinced. Justin didn't put his shirt back on, because he wasn't about to show that Chris' teasing had bothered him. Still, he felt a point had been made. Joey would never have done that. Of course, Joey would have never played basketball on a hot afternoon either, but that didn't seem very important.

Every now and then he talked to Joey on the phone. They kept it clean, mostly, except when laughing about who they scored with and how, or maybe mentioning something funny that had happened after they'd fucked. Sometimes though, Justin thought Joey's "been on the set for hours" voice sounded a lot like his "freshly fucked voice" and he found himself pulling at a nipple, or sliding his hand down his stomach. They didn't talk about what would happen when he and Chris went up to Toronto to film their cameo. He had a few ideas though, thinking about what Joey used to do, what he might do.

Of all the scenarios he had, Joey having a fling with his female costar wasn't one of them. He could tell just by the way she looked at Joey, the way she touched him. It hadn't been all that long since it had been like that for Justin. They all went out to celebrate being together, but ended up parting ways. Justin headed back to the hotel he was staying at, and Joey went home to the condo he had rented out for the trip. Maybe Em would meet him there, Justin didn't know. What he did know is that he licked his lips when he said good-bye to Joey, but Joey seemed to have forgotten that was how he liked to say, "Fuck me," without actually saying it.

Joey kissed him good-bye before he left the set for the airport, but it wasn't the same. Usually Joey's kisses were so thorough, but Joey hadn't even bothered to corner him in some secluded place. Just hugged him, kissed him on the cheek, and sent him on his way. Justin guessed that it was over now and that it shouldn't bother him. It made sense. They hadn't fucked or even really talked about it since Joey left and it wasn't like either of them was hurting for it. Why not stop now? Justin knew that answer, if not the reason behind it. He didn't want to stop.

I lose my self

Joey would be in Canada for another week, so Justin decided he'd put the time to good use and put Joey out of his mind. He did a lot; wrote some, retouched recordings, fought with JC about which song to put on the import CD and which to keep on the American album, went out with Chris, blew off some steam, made up with JC, and tried to get one of Lance's friends to come home with him. Apparently, Lance had warned them not to fuck around in the group and he got shot down.

Then Joey came back. Justin sat in his house and wondered if going to see him would seem too needy, or if not going would hurt his chances by making him seem distant. It never was like this before, strange and awkward. He did go, because Chris called him up and made it sound like there was a party. It was just him and the guys though, and their numbers slowly were weeded down from five to four to three.

Finally, JC stretched until his shirt rode up and his toes curled. "I'm gonna go. Sleepy." Justin felt nervousness spark up inside him; he had to choose now. He could take the safe road and go now, or he could wait until after JC left and see what happened.

Joey laughed, "Never would have guess. I'm pretty tired myself."

Justin sighed, why bother? If he did try anything he should wait until he had a chance, not when Joey was tired and jetlagged and probably just wanted to go to bed. "I should go," he said, standing when JC did. "Let you get settled."

Joey looked over at him. "Alright then," he said, nodding. He said good-bye to them both.

Walking down the path to their cars, JC nudged Justin with his elbow. "Hey. I thought you and Joey were..."

"Nah," Justin said quickly. "We just sorta stopped doing that."

JC didn't say anything, just shrugged and waved as he got to his car.

Something strange has come over me

So it didn't happen the first night, or even the second because Justin had been too chicken shit to go over to Joey's house without a real reason. By the end of the week, Justin thought it was pretty obvious that it really wasn't going to happen again. Ever. He kept telling himself he shouldn't think about it, but of course that didn't work. He thought about it all the while making the pretenses that it never crossed his mind. He never called Joey "just because." He just laughed and shook his hips playfully when Joey flirted with him and didn't feel jealous when Joey took someone else home with him. He didn't ever wistfully bring up what they used to do and try to gauge Joey's reaction.

Instead, he waited patiently for things between him and Joey to slide firmly back into the platonic, but they never did. He didn't understand what was wrong. Joey had moved on, he should, too. This had all been about easy sex. Lying in bed thinking about how Joey should be there, but wasn't, was definitely not easy. He avoided Joey for a week, and then, when that didn't work, spent four days in a row in his presence, but he never stopped wanting Joey to fuck him. He never stopped wanting Joey.

After a few days of promising himself he wouldn't tell anybody, he told Chris. "Man, I just don't know what to do."

"Fuck him," Chris said as if he were imparting great wisdom.

Justin looked up from the crook of his elbow where he had buried his face. Chris was serious. "What do you mean?"

Chris poked Justin, hard. "Go over to his house and have sex with him."

He frowned, "It's not that easy, though."

Chris shrugged, and went back to his magazine. "It was before."

"But it's over now." Chris didn't seem to care, but he kept on explaining. "It wasn't supposed to be a permanent thing. It happened. Now it's over."

"So start it up again." Chris looked at him pointedly. Justin knew that look meant shut up or change the subject.

He shut up. But only for a while, as he thought about what Chris had said.

"You really think Joey would be okay with that?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "I've never seen Joey not be okay with sex." He sighed, "I never thought I'd have to say this to you, but leave me the fuck alone and go have sex with Joey."

To his own surprise, Justin stood up. He dug his keys out of his pocket, saying, "If me and Joey have some sort of weird, scary fight I'm coming right back here to kick your ass."

Chris waved without looking up from his article, "I'll be sure to lock the door then."

A raging wind across my seas

It came down to this. He could follow Chris's advice, and maybe get shot down, in which case, things would be much as they were, or he could continue not saying, not pressing, and think would remain the same. Which was crappy. He took the chance, and went over the Joey's. Joey seemed surprised to his see him, but wasn't reluctant to invite him in. Justin stepped into the foyer of Joey's house, fidgeting his keys so much he almost dropped them. Flustered, he dropped them on a small table near the door.

"Hey man," he smiled at Joey. "What have you been up to?"

Joey shrugged and summed it up with one word: "Baby."

Baby. That was sexy, now wasn't it? Justin sighed, it would just be so easy to transition talking about Brianna into "Hey Joey, wanna fuck?"

"Awesome," Justin said, instead.

"I'm loving it," Joey said, sounding tired but happy. He turned and waved Justin after him, "Come on."

They ended up in Joey's kitchen where Joey was making pasta. Not Mama Fatone, special occasion pasta, just something from a bag, noodles and powdered sauce. The kind of quick easy food they gotten accustomed to. "Want some when it's done?"

Justin shook his head.

"So what's up?" Joey looked up from what he was stirring. "Need something?"

Yes, Justin thought. But all he said was, "Um." He smiled nervously, "I just wanted to come by and-" He tried to think of the best way to put it.

"And?" Joey asked.

"And, well-" He still didn't have it, didn't know how to do this. It had been almost two months since he and Joey did anything and Justin didn't remember how it had been so easy then, to walk right up to Joey and kiss him. Right now it felt impossible.

"Well come on, Justin, spit it out." Joey seemed amused by all this hesitation.

"I just-" He just gave up trying.

Joey looked concerned suddenly, opening his mouth to speak. Justin stopped him, put his hand on Joey's shoulder, and kissed him. He wasn't pushed away so he slid his arms around Joey's waist and hoped. Hoped that Joey wouldn't eventually pull away and say they needed to talk. Joey didn't, instead putting both hands in Justin's back pockets to keep him close. Justin tried to be cool about it but he was just so relieved. Joey made a sharp noise when Justin pushed him back against the counter, but Justin's contentment bubbled up in soft sounds. He couldn't let Joey break away for more than a second before planting his lips again on whatever place they reached first.

He mewled slightly, deliriously happy to have Joey touching him again, when Joey slid his hand up and under his shirt.

"Justin," Joey said. Not listening, Justin just agreed, nodding his head and kissing Joey again.

"Justin, burning."

"I know," Justin said. He got his fingers in Joey's belt loops and started pulling him out of the kitchen.

"No, Justin," Joey was forceful this time. He jerked his head back when Justin tried to kiss him. "The food. It's burning."

Just then there was the flash and hiss of fire as the sauce boiled over into the flame. Justin finally let go and not moving from where he stood while Joey turned off the heat. He was breathing a little too fast, almost hyperventilating really, so he made a conscious effort to slow it down. Joey turned around to face Justin, and shrugged. "There goes lunch."

Justin laughed, breathily. "I'm sorry." He wasn't really.

"S'okay." Joey caught Justin's hand and led him out of the kitchen.

He managed to calm himself down a little on the walk up the stairs, only to get excited again when Joey started talking off his clothes.

"I didn't know you missed this," Joey said as he pulled off Justin's shirt.

"A lot," Justin murmured, kicking off his shoes. He kissed Joey again because he didn't want to talk about it.

They got the rest of their clothes off and got to the bed. Joey had Justin on top when he finally slid in and kept him there, hands looking huge on Justin's narrow waist as they gripped it. Justin mumbled happily. This was good, this is was exactly what he wanted. He rocked as fast as he wanted to cause he could do this all over again tomorrow morning and the day after that. He threw his head back and let his hips roll. He heard Joey grunt beneath him and shove his hips up hard. Justin smiled and let himself go.

I'm holding on

Everything would have been perfect, Justin anticipated the long months of touring with much optimism, but before the first show, before the first video even, Joey got hurt. After the initial shock and scare of seeing Joey's blood coming out of him, there were weeks of Joey being sore and cranky because there was a hole in his leg and he hated taking pills. And it seemed like just when the painkillers and antibiotics were finally put aside, Joey came down with a cold. He was contagious and miserable for weeks as it lingered and worsened and worried everybody until it finally became pneumonia. When Joey had to miss a show, Justin figured this was really the end of it. He accepted it; it wasn't Joey's fault, after all, that he got sick.

Joey slipped into Justin's hotel room in Phoenix, a week after getting the okay from doctors to live life as normal. "Look what I can do," he said, happily. Justin watched while Joey inhaled a deep breath completely through his nose.

He smiled, "Very cool, Joe."

"You know what this means?"

"You're finally fully recovered?" He was glad Joey was back on his feet and he didn't feel any base desires. None at all. Joey was thinner now, not that he'd been too big before. He was thin, but his shirts were suddenly tighter. Justin licked his lips and looked back up at Joey's face.

"Well, yeah," Joey said, with a grin. "But also this." He took Justin's shoulders in his hands, steered him over to the bed and sat him down. Joey knelt down in front of him without so much as a wince about his leg and started unbuttoning Justin's jeans. Justin almost didn't believe it, but then he felt the first brush of Joey's fingers on his dick. Joey's other hand pushed him down so that he was lying flat on the mattress, while the other stroked hard to get him ready. Justin was still semi-flaccid, but Joey slipped all of him into his mouth anyway, and sucked. He could feel Joey's nose press against his skin, his soft breathing stirring the hair there.

Joey let up for a moment and sat back on his heels. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Wow," Justin answered.

To keep from drowning

Justin decided that he loved being with Joey. He loved the sex, but he knew that already. He had figured that out the first time Joey had held him still with the weight of his hips while working them in Joey's own dirty, straight to the point way. But there was the time before, and after, too.

Before: when Joey would touch him absentmindedly, a brush of fingers on his elbow as they walked, a steady press of knee against knee on the couch. Unbidden touches that didn't really mean anything other than Joey was close by. Knowing that made Justin happy, and so did the smiles Joey threw his way that spoke of secrets shared between, things none of the other guys, even Lance, would know. He liked it when Joey made him lunch, or dinner, or a midnight snack. It wasn't that he cooked well, but that he did it without complaining, did it with the same joy a master chef would. He liked talking to Joey a lot, just saying anything the came to mind and not worrying about it because he knew he wouldn't get half the shit he'd get from the other guys if it came out wrong.

And after: when Joey would either pick up the conversation right where they left off, or roll over and take a post-sex nap while Justin took a shower. Justin liked that Joey didn't really seem all that impressed with his body when they weren't having sex. He'd watch Justin as he moved around or got dressed but he never said anything, certainly was never ashamed of his own body in comparison. He always felt sexy with Joey, but never like he was being put on display. Best of all though, he liked it when Joey watched late night TV over Justin's shoulder. Because most of the time, he would fall asleep in Justin's bed and stay there till morning.

Justin liked it, loved it really. And that was going to be a problem. He wanted that every night now. Not necessarily the sex, but the times before and after and just because. And that meant that when Joey wasn't with him, he was lonely. He didn't want Joey to be with anybody else anymore. He knew that meant trouble.

And what am I supposed to do

Chris was the only person he knew who had been in a monogamous relationship. Well, other than his mother, but he wasn't about to ask his mothers about this.

"What?" Chris asked, when he picked up the phone.

"Chris, it's me. Um, listen, how did you and Dani hook up?"

"You were there, dickwad. The video shoot? Remember?"

"No, I mean," Justin sighed and thought on how to rephrase the question. "How did you make it real? How did y'all become exclusive?"

Chris was quiet for a moment. He sighed softly and said, "You know, that's sort of still a sensitive subject there."

Justin swallowed his instinctive apology. Chris didn't need pity or sympathy. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't need to know, man."

"Yeah," Chris said softly. "Well, huh. The way I remember it, she just sort of decided."

Living in Chris' world, Justin suspected, would be both frightening and elegantly simple. "Really?"

"Yeah. She sort of told me that she wanted it to be exclusive and all I really had to do was go along with it."

"Oh." That wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear. Shit.

"So are you going to tell me?"

Justin snapped back to the conversation, "What?"

"Why you have to know about me and Dani."

"Well. Um," Justin took a deep breath. If he couldn't say it to Chris, he was never gonna be able to say it to Joey. "I think I want- this thing between Joey and me, I think I want." He stopped and took another breath, "I want Joey to be my boyfriend. Just mine. Exclusively."

Chris whistled, "Damn, Justin. No one's ever tamed that stallion. I hope you know that."

"Believe me," Justin said miserably. "I know. What should I do?"

"I dunno, man," Chris paused, thinking. "At least you've got Kelly as an example of what not to do. You already know that yelling, crying, and having a baby don't work."

"Thanks, Chris. That helps a lot."

"I do what I can."

You don't feel the same

All in all, Justin had to admit it was pretty stupid. He'd known Joey six years now, and in that time Joey had never been in a committed relationship. With anyone. Never even just made a promise to and then broken it. He didn't know why he let himself even hope that, of all the people that had wanted and pursued Joey, he would be the one do finally do it. And yet, at times he couldn't help it. There was something in Joey's touch, in the way he said, "Hey baby," in the morning as he reached around Justin for the mouthwash that made him think that maybe it hope wasn't so far fetched. They were halfway there, already. But really that- actually letting himself believe, and not just hope -was even more stupid.

It felt strange sometimes, in a way it never had before. Like when Joey slept pressed up against his back, arm lying loosely over Justin's hip. Justin had to wonder what it meant. It could be just another show of Joey's easy affection, but if it was something more Justin could maybe risk asking.

"Ever think of settling down?" Justin asked one night. They were watching a movie about a playboy who finally met the right girl. Now seemed as good a time as any to ask.

Joey snorted, "You sound like my mother." The movie ended with playboy finally meeting the right girl and settling down.

Justin just shrugged, having no explanation.

"I dunno," Joey said. "Not really. Besides, if I settled down we couldn't do this," he squeezed his arm around Justin's naked shoulders affectionately.

"Yeah," Justin said. "That's true."

If I can't get over you

Justin plopped on the couch. Chris pretended not to notice him, so he scooted and wiggled until his head was in Chris lap. "Chris. I'm going crazy. I'm all spun around."

Chris sighed in defeat, but he didn't look down at him, "Justin, why do you think I care?"

"You care."

"I do," Chris said, sadly shaking his head. "I wish I didn't. You're annoying."

"Help me out then?" Justin bounced a little, jostling Chris. Chris smacked him on the shoulder. "What am I gonna do?" he whined.

"You should tell him."

"But I can't." If he could, he would have by now.

Chris finally looked at him, "Why?"

"Because he's going to tell me he can't. And then we won't be able to have sex anymore. And it'll be weird and awkward. I don't want that.."

"Justin." Chris didn't sound amused anymore. He sounded kind of sad, like he was going to tell Justin his dog was dead. Justin didn't actually have a dog though.

"What?"

He shrugged, "Have you thought about this beyond terms of whether it's going to happen or not?"

Justin shook his head, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you can talk to him now, get shot down or not, and probably have a chance of recovering. If you let this drag on, you might..." Chris trailed off, looking for the best way to put things.

"I might what?" Justin prompted.

"You might not take it so well. You're going to tell him one day, Justin. I know you are. Either it'll be now, when this shit's still small and easy to handle, or it'll be later when it's a big scary mess. Why not take the chance now when it's better for everyone involved?"

Justin didn't have anything to say to that. He lay with his head in Chris's lap, thinking. It made sense, what Chris had said. It was pretty much now or never. He sighed. Everyone in the world thought it was going to be his fault when the group broke up. If he wasn't careful with Joey, they would be right.

Chris' cell phone rang, "Justin, move. I gotta get up." Justin sat up, sighing softly because he knew what he had to do.

What have you done to me

Justin knew that smile well enough. Joey had finished his last beer, tipped his head at him and smiled. Justin excused himself to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. It wasn't even really a break-up. There had to be commitment to break to break-up. This was just stopping. He said a few self-help book slogans at himself, and went back out. Joey was waiting for him, in the dirty looking hallway the lead down to the bathrooms. The club music was just a kind of upbeat thunder there.

"Hey, you wanna ride back with me?"

Justin shook his head, "No, I think I wanna dance another set. The DJ's good."

"I can wait," Joey said, shrugging.

"You can go," Justin said. He started to lick his lips, but pressed them together instead.

Joey laughed, unflustered, "Not tonight, huh?"

"Joey, I-" he felt his throat close and he willed it to open, angry with himself. He was crying? "I just don't think we should anymore."

Joey frowned, he looked away from Justin's face for a moment, then back. "Why?"

Justin shrugged, unable to speak or even to remember his reasons. "Just cause."

"All right, sure," Joey didn't sound anything but confused. "But I mean, before when we stopped, you-"

Justin shrugged, "I guess it's different now." It wasn't really, though. He didn't want this at all, but he had to be a little more practical. Had to.

Joey looked again at him as if scanning for something. Whatever he found, or didn't find, didn't seem to affect him. "Okay. Um, later then."

Justin waited until Joey turned back towards the dance floor to show any strain. As not-break-ups go, it went pretty well.

I'm by myself

"You what?" Chris asked. He sounded angry. Justin hadn't really thought he'd get angry.

"I stopped it," he said again.

"Why? You were totally in love with him."

"Yeah," Justin said, even though he really shouldn't have. "But, in love with him enough to know that I can't tell him that."

Chris sighed, and mumbled something under his breath. He paused, then said it again, louder, "You're really fucking stupid, you know that, Justin?"

"Fuck off."

"Yeah, yeah, same to you."

When we're apart

It really didn't hurt that bad. It was the same sort of ache he'd felt before, only a little more. He operated pretty normally, feeling no need to stop showering or seeing people for a week after or anything. He was talking to Joey, and not Chris and that was a little weird. Chris was mad at him, for wasting his time apparently.

"Spend all the time whining to me about how much you want Joey," Chris had yelled. "And then you just fucking give up and waste all my good advice."

Justin really hadn't been in the mood to hear that, feeling the ache sitting in the middle of his chest twist sharply. He'd hung up. Maybe it was Justin that was mad at Chris. At any rate, they weren't speaking to each other.

He tried not end up alone with Joey, tried not any of his feelings, awkward or sad, show. Most of all he tried not to think of all the points in his day where Joey should have been there but wasn't.

I've been falling, falling

Joey didn't call for two days. Justin tried to pretend it didn't matter and went about life as usual. He was in the backyard on his court when Joey showed up. He'd made 38 out of 44 free throws so far and sank his last one as he watched Joey walk toward him.

"Nice," Joey said, but Justin knew he didn't really think anything of it. Joey didn't know anything about form or follow through.

Justin held the ball to his hip, just looking at Joey, waiting.

Joey opened his mouth to say something, but just laughed nervously. "Can we go inside?"

Justin nodded, "Sure."

Inside, Justin grabbed a coke from the fridge and then tossed another to Joey, who didn't open it. Justin took a long drink, then stood, hip against the counter, still waiting.

"Um, I came over cause, well, I know you said you didn't want to do... stuff anymore-"

"Right," Justin said, sharply. He didn't want to talk about this. He wasn't going to. He'd throw a tantrum not to talk about this.

"But you didn't say why."

"Joey-" Justin started.

"Chris told me why." Joey looked up at him.

Justin blinked, and put his coke down on the counter, "Chris told you? Why the hell did Chris tell you?"

"I just wanted to know." Joey's focused his attention on his coke can, thumb wiping a smooth arch in the condensation. "I mean, things were so good and you just stopped. So I asked him and he told me." He looked up at Justin, "Why didn't you?"

"Why didn't I what?"

Joey looked down at the can in his hands again, "Tell me."

Justin sighed, Joey didn't seem to realize the favor he had done him. "Well cause, see, now that you know, you gotta go about telling me you're sorry, you didn't mean to, stuff I already know." He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them. "The route I chose left it all elegantly unsaid."

"That's sorta unfair, though," Joey said. He put the can down finally, and looked at Justin. "You didn't even ask me if I wanted to."

"Well, I mean," Justin shrugged. "Why would you? You never have before so, why would it be me?"

Joey took a deep breath and let it out. "I guess you just sorta snuck up on me."

Justin was already nodding before he realized what Joey had actually said, what he'd meant. He squinted, as if suddenly near-sighted. "Joey?" he asked. Because if he got an answer that meant it was really happening.

Joey shrugged and laughed again like he was nervous. "Hey, I dunno." He reached out and put his hand on Justin's side, pulling him a little closer. "Just... let's not stop, okay?"

Justin shook his head, "Yeah, no. Let's not." He looped his arm around Joey waist and kissed him.

Ever since the moment I laid eyes on you