See In Me
by Amatia

~..~

JC dropped the folded newspaper in front of Justin on the tiny table, right next to the napkin with the half-eaten piece of toast on it. "Is it true?"

"It's not true," Justin said, without looking up from the magazine he was reading, without looking at the newspaper. JC picked up the toast and took a bite. Justin looked up. "Hey, that was mine."

JC gestured at the newspaper and chewed the toast. "You weren't eating it," he said after he'd swallowed and washed it down with a tiny sip of Justin's coffee.

"I was too." Justin reached up and took the mug back. "Why do you drink my coffee, dude? You don't like coffee. It ain't all herbal and healthy and shit."

"Dweeb," JC said fondly. He watched Justin flip quickly past the magazine article about Britney and settle on one a few pages after. Then he gave Justin's shoulder a squeeze and went back to his bunk.

Justin looked at the newspaper later that night, when they were about forty minutes outside of Minneapolis. "JC, man," he yelled towards the bunks. "You know this isn't true! It's the fucking gossip column!"

"I had to ask," came JC's level voice, slightly drowsy with sleep.

"No one else asks," Justin mumbled, tossing the paper away. He reached for his book, down at the end of the couch.

There were muffled footsteps, then JC's hand slid up his back. "Is Chris still asleep?"

"Mm, yeah." Justin untangled his book from the headphone cord it was wrapped in.

"Is there a reason you're still awake? It's three a.m."

"I know what time it is."

JC sat down next to him, leaning against him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Justin replied sharply.

JC was quiet then, reading over Justin's shoulder.

JC had fallen asleep by the time they pulled up outside the hotel. Outside the bus, Justin could hear the noise of fans. Chris stumbled out of the bunk area, dragging his carryon like it was full of bricks. He mumbled something incoherent in Justin's direction and squinted out the window at the crowd.

Justin nudged JC. "C."

"Mmm."

"Wake up."

JC rubbed his face against Justin's shoulder. "Hotel?"

"Doesn't the screaming give it away?"

"You," Chris said to Justin, "are too fucking awake for four in the fucking morning."

JC stood up as Justin gave Chris a brilliant smile.

Justin followed JC into his room and sat down on the bed. JC looked at him calmly. "Don't want to sleep?"

"Talk?"

JC blinked, slightly surprised. Justin _never_ wanted to talk. "'kay."

"Who do you think is a bigger celebrity, me or Britney?" Justin asked, his voice serious.

"Uhm." JC ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know? It's late. Ask me tomorrow."

"JC."

"Does this have anything to do with why you guys broke up?" Neither Justin nor Britney had been particularily forthcoming about the end of their relationship, and JC knew none of the other guys had wanted to ask.

Justin nodded.

JC sat down on the bed next to him. "Britney."

"Because she's Britney Spears and I'm just Justin from 'nsync?"

"You're not just Justin." Justin gave him a look. "Fine. Yes."

"I got asked about her a lot more than she got asked about me."

Justin's eyes held his, and JC had to admit it was true. "Yeah, I guess you did. But." There was no but that he could come up with. "Yeah, you did."

"I kind of realized that our relationship was... not going in a good direction, I guess, before the tour even started, while hers was still going, but Johnny told me - Jive told us - her high profile was good for me while we were gearing up for tour."

JC made a small sound of surprise, and Justin leaned against him. JC threaded his fingers through Justin's. "They told you that you weren't famous enough." It wasn't even a question.

"Basically." Justin tucked one long leg up under the other and snorted. "Not famous enough," he repeated, shaking his head. "So they fucking told us to be nice to each other until our tour was well underway, because once we started touring, _my_ high profile would be good for her while she geared up for the next leg of her tour. And then the breakup would be even more media for both of us."

"Damn," JC breathed. "No wonder you were miserable." He squeezed Justin's hand. "What kind of not good direction was it going in?"

Justin shrugged and wouldn't answer.

"There wasn't a lot of media when you and Bobbie broke up. Or when Lance and Laura broke up," Justin said thoughtfully, coming back into the room with his toothbrush in his hand.

"Bobbie and Laura aren't _Britney_." JC rummaged in one of his suitcases. "And dude, you know Bobbie stuck with me for a month and a half more than we all thought she would. Because I bought her expensive shit."

"Sucks, man. I bought Britney that junk but she could have afforded it herself."

"Britney's a tightwad sometimes," JC said as he pulled his shirt over his head, having found the pajamas he was looking for.

Justin looked at the long line of JC's back. "Don't need to tell me that."

JC's jeans followed the shirt, then his briefs. Justin's eyes followed every movement. "C.?"

"Mm?" JC turned to look at him, nimble fingers tying a knot in the drawstring of his pajama bottoms.

"What do you see when you look at me?"

JC regarded him for a long moment. "I see a musically talented man, self-confident and sure of himself, but his heart's a little broken."

"Oh."

JC gave him a crooked smile. "So are you gonna brush your teeth and stuff or what? I want to go to sleep."

Justin went into the bathroom, realizing he'd been gripping the toothbrush the entire conversation.

JC had the television on when he came out of the bathroom. "Minty!" Justin said with a grin.

"Mm." JC flipped channels rapidly. "Crap on."

"Duh."

Justin climbed onto the bed and sat behind JC, hooking his chin on JC's shoulder. JC leaned against him. "You gonna be okay?" he asked softly.

"'m sure I will be."

"Been a long time since we've talked."

"Yeah."

"I missed it," JC said quietly.

Justin nodded, his cheek rubbing against JC's ear. JC looked down at Justin's hand, resting gently on his hip, and leaned his head back. "I don't know if I ever told you this, but Lynn - she saw us sleeping in the same bed in the old apartment once, and she grabbed me by the ear and told me I better not have sex with you or she'd kick my ass."

"Britney's mother told me the same thing," Justin replied with a chuckle. He twisted his fingers in JC's hair, gently. "And threatened my manhood as well."

JC turned his head to grin at Justin. "What manhood?"

Justin growled and dug his fingers into JC's sides. JC yelped and rolled away, laughing. "You set yourself up for that one, Timberlake."

Justin made a face at him and squirmed over, curled against JC. "What time is it?"

"Don't know. I took my watch off." JC lifted his arm to show Justin his naked wrist. "Just look at the clock, dumbass."

Justin poked him in the ribs, then raised his head. "Almost five."

"Uhhuh." A pause. Then "Do you think Lynn would kick my ass now?", the words strung together in his hurry to get them out.

Justin's eyes went wide. "What?

"Are you tired enough to go to sleep, because I'm about to drop -."

Justin's fingers splayed over JC's mouth, silencing him. "Not what you asked," he said, and replaced his fingers with his lips. JC made a wordless noise and his mouth opened under Justin's. Justin slid his hands around JC's waist, flicked his tongue over JC's teeth and the roof of his mouth.

The skin under Justin's hands was hot, then JC's hands were covering his and JC's tongue was pushing into his mouth, forcing Justin's back with gentle pressure. He nipped at Justin's lower lip and stopped, not moving, just breathing against Justin's skin.

Justin made a tiny sound, and JC pulled back, pressed his finger against Justin's lips. "That was a good answer," he whispered.

Justin smiled, and JC pressed his face against Justin's neck. Justin smelled faintly of sweat and cologne, and of generic hotel soap and Colgate. JC breathed deep for a minute. Then he unwound himself from around Justin. "I have to pee," he announced, and rolled off the bed. "Set the alarm, yeah?"

Justin made an affirmative noise and fumbled with the alarm, squinting at the buttons until the display read what he wanted. He heard the toilet flush, then the faucet running. JC came out of the bathroom and flicked water at him before shutting off the light and sitting down on the bed. Justin pulled him close, tugged the sheets around them. "Night," he mumbled against JC's neck.

"Night," JC whispered, then, "wait."

"What?"

"The gossip colum - Justin, was it true?"

"Hmm, yeah," Justin murmured, drowsy.

"I know it's not my business, but why didn't you want to get married?"

"Wanted someone who loved me for me." Justin's hand, wrapped around his wrist, squeezed gently.

"Oh," JC breathed, and smiled.