He didn't even know where he was going. Sometimes it was cathartic to drive when you weren't feeling... He was still headed south even though his hotel was north, in Santa Barbara. The meeting had ended well before noon and he had been driving along the 101 for what seemed like hours. He passed a few cars every once in a while and was surprised that traffic was so light during the afternoon on a Saturday. He had expected to be packed in, bumper to bumper, choking on the lovely exhaust fumes from the cars he was supposed to be surrounded in since this was California.
It was nice to have the top down. He wondered why he hadn't bought a convertible like everyone else did with their money. A few weeks ago Justin had let him take the Prowler for a spin in his neighborhood. Lance liked it so much that he was considering buying one and joining the club. Rather than buy one, he just rented one that was not red, for his weeklong business trip to California. Everyone had a red sports car, why didn't they ever get other colors? He switched lanes as he saw that he was approaching an old station-wagon rather quickly. As he passed the beat up car he saw an old woman sitting in the driver's seat, her white poofy hair barely showing over the top of the seat. He chuckled quietly.
He reached into the center counsel and pulled out a random CD, slipping it into the car's stereo. As the song began to play, he felt like he was in a car commercial for TV. 'Take Five' by Dave Brubeck began to play loudly. Lance grinned and sat back in the seat, tapping his foot to the beat, resting his left arm on the side of the car, feeling the wind blowing between his fingers. It was a beautiful sunny day and even with his sunglasses on, the world around him was bright and bursting with life. He wasn't bursting with life, he thought that he would suffocate sometimes.
Being forced to hide behind a façade that resembled nothing of the man he really was had taken a toll on everything in his life. They had forced her on him, he didn't want to have anything to do with her other than a friendship but he had too, or else people would talk. People were already talking, and They didn't like that. Some people knew the truth and accepted him for who he really was and for who he really loved and those were his real friends.
Love. Lance felt a bittersweet pain shoot through his body and his smile faded.
"How fucked up is it that I can't be with someone that I love?" Lance yelled aloud. "How unfair, to make me love someone that I can't have without facing consequences? Do you want to suck the life out of me? Is that what you want!" Lance narrowed his eyes at the empty freeway he was traveling on and let out a tormented sigh. Life, was truly not fair.
As Lance looked to the right he saw HOLLYWOOD in giant letters, advertising their superficial glory on the side of those green mountains littered with luxurious real estate. He looked over his shoulder and switched lanes so that he could get off at the next exit. 'Where is everyone?' he thought to himself. 'It is such a beautiful day and no one is out? This is the one of the most crowded cities on earth, did everyone just disappear?'
He made a left and began his decent up the windy road that would through the Hills and up to his destination. Usually he would get stuck behind someone in their Mercedes who didn't know that part of the fun of living in the Hills, was to take the curved road up at a fast speed, seeing how fast you could cut the sharp corners without losing control of your vehicle. Today however, he could go as fast as he wanted since he seemed to be the only person pretending to be alive in this city.
"I'll show Them that I can love whoever the fuck I want," Lance whispered as he looked for the street that would lead him to his breath of life.
Lance found the street he wanted and turned right, slowing his speed down a bit. He found the grove of ivy bushes that signaled the entry to the hidden driveway and parked the rental car in the gravel. "You had better be home..." Lance said as he typed a code in the key pad. The gates opened slowly and he walked through, looking around at the well kept yard. He walked up the wooden steps to one of the garages was open and noticed that the silver Viper was parked outside. Sitting near by the convertible was a hose, bucket with a soapy sponge and a pile of wet towels. "Anybody home?" he called out loudly as he stepped into the shade of the garage, flipping his Armani sunglasses on top of his head.
When no one responded he walked over to the door and turned the handle, not surprised that it was unlocked. He was greeted with the scent of sandalwood incense that was burning in the center of the kitchen table. He looked out the giant bay window that was directly behind the dining area and saw JC sitting in one of the patio chairs, looking out at his personal view of the western world. Lance smiled and for the first time in a long time, it was real.
He set his keys and cell phone on the table and walked through the open screen door, out onto the patio. JC didn't look up and Lance realized that he was deeply engrossed in something that he was writing. Lance leaned against the railing with that smile on his face as he watched his reason for existence. JC stopped, chewed on his pinky nail and set the pen down as he looked up. His azure eyes widened with surprise and one of the most genuine smiles Lance had ever seen from him, appeared on his face. 'See, I just love the feeling, knowing, I can make you smile...' Lance thought in his head as content settled in his heart.
"Where did you come from?" JC said as he stood up and cracked his back. "I thought you were in Florida until December."
Lance shrugged and looked out at the unusually quiet city. "I had a meeting this morning and yesterday but I'm staying until next Saturday. I was driving, I saw your exit and thought I'd stop by. I'm glad you were home," he said as he snuck a glance over at JC.
JC walked over to the railing and leaned on it next to Lance. "Man, I haven't left. It's weird getting used to this. I mean, the longest I was here was for about two weeks and that was back in March, when I moved in."
"Yeah and look at me, I still haven't been home for more than a week." Lance rested his elbows on the rail and turned his head to the side, studying JC's serious profile. "Beautiful day, huh?"
JC nodded and snuck a look at Lance before returning them to one of the tall buildings in the distance. "Gorgeous day. I washed the car and I've been out here ever since." He paused and looked at Lance who was still looking at him, "it seems like such a quiet day... usually everything is so busy and loud and obnoxious, but today feels different."
Lance put his hand on top of JC's hand and their eyes locked. JC looked down and grinned as a not so familiar emotion filled his body, 'and I haven't felt that way about someone in quite a while...' he thought as he looked at the platinum ring on Lance's finger. "I thought you had stopped wearing that..." he said softly as he reached over with his other hand to touch the small diamonds that sat in a row on the ring.
"Why wouldn't I? It's the only piece of you that I can have with me all of the time, everywhere I am that you aren't..." Lance saw JC look up with that genuine smile on his face again. 'Just listen to these words I have to say...'
"I am listening," JC whispered as if he had heard what Lance was thinking. "There is no one here to stop you this time. No one here to stop me."
"No one here to judge us. No one here to tell us that we can't. We can JC. Who gives a fuck about what they want? I sure as hell don't anymore. You are what I want and I am not going to let anyone get in the way of us this time," Lance said as he placed his hands on JC's hips. "What do you think? Do you agree with me?"
"I think that you are right. I am sick of not being able to have what I really want and what I really want is you." JC let his hand fall down Lance's shoulder and rest on his forearm.
Lance picked up JC's right hand and pressed it to his chest. "You have me," Lance locked his eyes with JC's, "you never lost me."
"I know... I just wish that we didn't have to hide this. It hurt when I saw you with her when I should have been the one on your arm, sitting next to you..."
"And do you really think that I felt any different? There was a point when I thought that you loved her and that I had lost you to her."
JC laughed and pressed his forehead against Lance's shoulder. "I feel like I've been let free, I just couldn't take it anymore, WEG is so fucking pissed that it's hilarious." He breathed in and smelled Lance, something that he had missed. He sighed and closed his eyes as he let his hands slip around Lance's waist, pulling him so close that their chests were touching. "I wish I had done it sooner," JC mumbled quietly.
"Out," Lance whispered and turned his head, pressing his lips gently to the back of JC's hair, breathing in slightly and smelling the shampoo that JC used. The same one he had back at his hotel room just so that he wouldn't forget what JC smelled like. "Fuck them," Lance whispered into JC's hair. "They aren't even around now. It's just us. You. Me. Two. There isn't anyone here that can stop us this time."
JC lifted his head from Lance's shoulder and pressed his lips to Lance's temple gently. Lance sucked in a shaky breath and closed his eyes as JC moved his lips to the spot in between Lance's eyebrows. Lance sucked in a breath as JC's lips graced his left cheekbone. "I love you," he whispered as he felt JC's lips millimeters from his own lips.
JC smiled and closed his eyes as he pressed his lips to Lance's. Suddenly he didn't feel so alone anymore and life once again seemed like it was worth living all because of Lance.
As Lance felt JC press his lips to his own, he found what he had been missing before. Oxygen. JC was his breath of life and he really hadn't realized just how much he had needed JC to really be able to breathe again.
They pulled away at the same time; nothing existing in their worlds except each other. JC pulled out of Lance's grasp and held onto both of his hands. "I can breathe again. I'm so glad you are here. I was suffocating before you came..." he looked down at their hands and smiled.
Lance pressed a kiss to JC's forehead and walked toward the door as they kept their hands together. "I know exactly how you feel," Lance whispered against JC's soft skin.
JC let Lance lead him outside of his fortress to the rented car that was parked outside of the gates. He let Lance open his door for him and they drove down the winding road back to the shallow depths of Los Angeles. The sun was sitting low and golden in the sky as they headed towards it. The roads were still empty and JC wondered if the whole city was giving them the privacy they wanted. He leaned his head back on the seat, feeling the wind rushing through his hair and he knew that this day was the first of many with Lance. Just them, together, forever.
JC turned his head to the left and reached his hand out to rub the fine hair on the back of Lance's head with the tips of his fingers. Lance turned, and smiled at him as he pulled into the parking lot of a small waterfront area near Newport Beach. They climbed over the sides of the car and walked around the front of it, clasping their hands together again as they walked into the sand. Lance led JC to one of the deserted lifeguard stations and climbed up onto the platform with him, letting his feet hang off the side.
Lance wrapped his arms around JC and they shared another kiss before directing their attention to the setting sun. As JC leaned his head against Lance's shoulder and whispered, "I love you too", Lance felt the empty spot that once occupied his heart, fill with an emotion he thought he would never be able to feel again.
Love.
The End