See, now there's probably something vaguely unethical about doing a page of pics for someone you haven't fully found the love for, yet. But I'm doing it anyway, because it seems unfair and mean to leave him out of it. I don't want Howie picked last for the team, man! And sometimes I like him.

Whoo, lukewarm endorsement, anyone?

The following is an exchange between me and wax. And all you Howie fans should just thank god for her, is all I have to say!

rrrosa: So now I'm trying to decide whether to do Howie pics or Kevin pics next. I don't feel a lot of Howie love
wax: Either one is fine, dear. You've left my boys last.
rrrosa: Your boys? You like Howie?
wax: Howie and Kevin are my favourite boys.
rrrosa: Good, maybe you should write the fucking comments
wax: Maybe I should.
rrrosa: I'm totally stumped. "um, he's not totally ugly here" or "and here, see, not hideous". "here's another one that didn't make me gag"
wax: I can come in and argue with you.
rrrosa: Ooh! Let's!
wax: Let's do Howie.

wax: See, it's just that. he is attractive to me. How do you explain that he has big dark eyes and a full mouth and look! his hands are pretty.
rrrosa: I look at it and I think, "not doing anything gross. not bad, Dorough"
wax: Sigh.
rrrosa: I do think he looks very pretty there, though
wax: Well, yeah.
rrrosa: His mouth is closed
wax: All soulful and shit.
wax: I'll just disregard your last comment
rrrosa: ahahah
wax: I'll just take my Howie and walk.
rrrosa: So that wasn't quite what you meant?

rrrosa: See, I think I like this one because he looks like the Liquid Alien King
wax: Er. I'll have to take a closer look. Liquid alien. His eyes are *enormous*--he's Bambi. Or Bambi's mom.
rrrosa: Yes, see, liquid alien.
wax: See, those eyes are why I wanted to write that story where Justin shoots him. His big brown baby seal eyes. He'd suffer so beautifully. He's next on my torture list. Um. Moving on.

rrrosa: It has been pointed out to me that I like this picture because you can't see his face. And I feel sort of bad, because that might be true. But he's all bendy looking! And that looks like a shirt that Chris would wear
wax: His hair is very curly. And I like his wack shirt. Also, I'm drawn to his eyelids & eyebrows.
rrrosa: Yes, no, this is a very beautiful picture--he has lovely lines in it
wax: He tends to look unbearably sad if he's not smiling. That's what the big brown baby seal eyes do.
rrrosa: Although you can't see his alien eyes in this pic.
wax: No, but you see his pretty eyelids. Close enough for government work.

rrrosa: Hippie Howard. I have no idea, but I fucking love this pic. I feel great affection for this Howie
wax: And I have. um. I should probably say no comment.
rrrosa: ahahah. Doesn't that figure?
wax: Those pants could be Justin's. The hair is just. no no no. But the pink shirt is working for me.
rrrosa: But! he's all...cute. Or something. He smells of patchouli.
wax: Dude. He looks like Eros Ramazzotti, circa 1990. And I can smell the patchouli from here.

wax: Okay. cowboy hat. Again, the shirt works. The hair doesn't.
rrrosa: So, this is actually more like a *gaucho* hat. He's a Mexican cowboy--he's sex-ay
wax: Well, that's cause Howie is la-ti-no
rrrosa: Oh god, I just said Howie was sex-ay. Ahahah. The roof hasn't fallen in. So far so good.
wax: hahaha. I want him on a mesteño, riding into the sunset in Patagonia.
rrrosa: Sounds good to me. We'll draft a memo.
wax: Again you picked a pic where you can't see his face
rrrosa: Um, shit, so I did. But his hand! Did you see his hand?

rrrosa: If you say this next one is good, I'll kill you. I have it there for sheer amusement factor, because...I have been waiting *forever* to say:
wax: Okay. The next pic. He looks like Duncan McLleod.
rrrosa: It's Howie McLeod, of the Clan McLeod!
wax: ahahahahah!
rrrosa: ahahaha. Yes! See! So we're in agreement here.
wax: Sure, but I'd still do him.
rrrosa: That's just plain old bad taste.
wax: Shutup.
rrrosa: He does look a little bit hot, though.
wax: haha!
rrrosa: More...manly than usual.
wax: ha ha!
rrrosa: But that chest! Blergh! That hair!
wax: And just imagine him with a katana!
rrrosa: Well, I kind of can't stand Duncan, either. I tolerate him because Methos loves him so!
wax: (I can't stand Duncan, either)
wax: (but I still like Howie)

rrrosa: HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. This video is my HOWIE IS HOT video. This is, like, removed from all of my other feelings about Howie, because HOT HOT HOT! (except when they let him bust a move. that's not good)
wax: ahhah. See, the vampire thing...doesn't really do it for me. muahahaha!
rrrosa: This is killing me! The only two I've liked, you've...not. It's very symmetrical.
wax: We clearly have incompatible tastes in men. But see, that's all good, 'cause we'll never be rivals.
rrrosa: It's perfect, I tell you!
wax: Absolutely.

rrrosa: I think he's very pretty. Nicely dressed, not being smarmy, mouth closed, nice setting
wax: Yes. He's got a secret cottage in the garden, with a wine cellar. He's quite rich and peculiar.
rrrosa: I'd let this guy date someone in Nsync.
wax: JC, maybe. They could talk about wine. Howie could make something nice--I bet he can cook. Actually, he CAN cook. So he could cook, and JC would appreciate it. Then they'd have cinematic sex in the cottage. There's a polished hardwood floor. . . oak furniture...
rrrosa: And they'd have their friends out for summer holidays, and they wouldn't let them have any beer, only wine.
wax: And at night, they'd light a fire
rrrosa: And sing
wax: And drink a nice cabernet and maybe read
rrrosa: And then cuddle
wax: Maybe Howie would read Decamerone out loud. Possibly in Italian. JC would look clueless. Okay, now I've strayed into my own personal fantasy.
rrrosa: Well, I left you a bit ago for my own, where Howie's playing the guitar softly in the firelight, and their voices weave together beautifully in the country night.
wax: ahahahaha. Okay, now I have them singing 'Fernando' (which, by the way, is my life's theme song, according to somewhere)
rrrosa: Ack! Stop that! Blergh, a perfectly good fantasy gone to hell.

wax: The sea. the boy.
rrrosa: He's smarmy, he's blowing a kiss, but he's so *pretty* doing it. And you can see his face! Um, mostly. From the side.
wax: I picture him on a little kobbe somewhere in the Åland archipelago. Perhaps on Källskär. And maybe he's blowing a kiss to the Hermes statue.
rrrosa: See, Howie lives in a shack, and he tends goats, he *does*. With...um....Heck, it might have to be Justin, actually--all sun-brown. And he and Justin don't wear much. Just ratty boots and cut-off pants of some sort, mostly. Only with belts. And they lean up against each other and drink wine in the evenings.
wax: And walk in the garden.
AGC (*): And as the sun sets, Justin pushes Howie up against the side of a rustic stone cottage and has his way with him.

The End!

*AGC=Anonymous Guest Commentator

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