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Midnight at the Hotel Enterprise
by The Enigmatic Big Miss Sunbeam
"Mmmm, it just keeps . . . throbbing," said Deanna breathily, biting her lip. "Ohhh, my goodness, that's big! Very . . . very . . . big," said Dr. Tithonys. "But I had to have this before I died." And Jean-Luc had not been so excited in a long time. Their mission? Alcibiades 131T was going nova, which was no news, and Dr. Tithonys, Starfleet's senior astro-scientist, had been rushed from his home in the Apra System on the nearest Federation vehicle, which happened to be the Enterprise. Rushed because Alcibiades 131T was, well, acting oddly. Instead of going nova with a flamboyant burst into a giant pinwheel of tiny flaming particles, Alcibiades 131T had chosen to pulse rhythmically in a last sky-wide drumbeat of power. "Extraordinary," said Dr. Tithonys. "Would you like to sit down, sir? Prolonged standing might . .. take its toll on your constitution." This was said in the clipped tones of his Bolian assistant, next in line to inherit Dr. Tithonys's position as senior astro-scientist. This Bolian was not a lot of fun - what Bolian ever was - but he was clever and thorough. And, after all, Dr. Tithonys, a terran, was over 200 years old; who knew how long he would last. "All the measuring implements are in place?" the Bolian asked Geordi. "Yes, Dr. Two." Oh no. Everyone grew rigid. It had happened again. The Bolian's face darkened: "It's Dr. TWO, rimes with your word WHOA." "Whoa," Geordi murmured. "Dr. Two." He said it right this time. "How often must I tell you?" "I'm sorry - it's spelled like a key terran word, so . . . and so . . ." Geordi turned his visor pleadingly to Jean-Luc. Who rolled his eyes just a bit. "We'll remember from now on, Dr. . . . Two," Jean-Luc said. "That's an order." The rest of the crew nodded. Tempers were short. As Alcibiades 131T died, its heat and light pulses hit the Enterprise in relentless waves. Temperatures were rising steadily, and the heat shields of the Enterprise could not keep that great heat at bay forever. They would have to act quickly before the Enterprise sustained damage. "That boy's got flair!" Dr. Tithonys laughed and moved his frail arms in a dancing motion at his sides. Jean-Luc leaned back; what . . .? Why, Tithonys was talking about the star! A remarkable old man, a pleasure to work with, but that Bolian, well! They had worked hard all day, measuring the pulses of Alcibidades 131T and launching a special unmanned fireshuttle. What Tithonys and the other astro-scientists wanted more than anything was a) to observe this flamboyantly dying star and b) to see if that dying pulse couldn't be channeled into a boundless new source of energy for a hungry universe. Jean-Luc didn't pretend to remember much about what he'd studied of Thermal . . . Stuff 101 back at the Academy, but Tithonys' mission could be extraordinarily useful in developing new resources. And he would have exciting news to share with Q. Q had been called to the Continuum for a . . . some sort of club meeting, as far as Jean-Luc could tell. He decided to explore a bit: "Wonder if I'll dine alone tonight?" he said out loud. "I thought you would dine with Tithonys," came the soft resonant voice. Jean-Luc's smile grew broader. "Dr. Tithonys is asleep - he's quite elderly, you know, and we were kept occupied all day." "Ohh, were you busy today?" Q materialized in a brilliant flash. "And what was it you were doing? Oh, yes, I remember now: You were on your mission to aimlessly screw around." Then he put his hand to his mouth. "Ohhh, I'm sorry; of course, I meant to say, to boldly go, yes, that's it: to boldly go. So sorry, Jean-Luc, I mixed up my split infinitives." Jean-Luc smiled at Q, who breathed in at Jean-Luc's smile. "Sit with me," Q said. On the sofa they embraced and kissed in the strobe-like pulses of Alcibiades 131T. Then Q began to stroke Jean-Luc here and there, "Did him get him's quota of boldly going, did him, did him?" And then Q was grabbing his thighs and tickling them and they were both laughing. "Did him did him did him boldly go? Huh, huh, did him boldly go? Oh, no, wait, what hims did today was make it so, yes, hims made it so! Yes hims did." "Stop this, Q". Jean-Luc looked at Q who was now between his legs on the floor. "What have you been up to?" "Continuum powwow. Lotta argy-bargy. But nothin' changing a few constants of the universe won't solve." "That sounds rather serious, Q." Q shrugged. "Takes a two-thirds majority. Que sera sera: the secret motto of existence." He smiled at Jean-Luc. "Did him miss him?" "Belay the baby talk, Q." "Oh, you want me to talk like an adult. All right," he looked at Jean-Luc. "I want to see me some puss." And Jean-Luc's pants were off and his legs were on Q's shoulders, and Q was staring steadily at him, at his body, at the juncture of his legs. Q's tongue was between his teeth; then he bit his lower lip and shook his head. A few moments passed. "I can't believe this shit, Jean-Luc." He put his thumb in his mouth and wet it and then put it in Jean-Luc. Who gasped. "We don't have to move a lot for me to fuck you, Jean-Luc," Q whispered. "Oh, yes," Jean-Luc could see him doing that. "Yes, Q, yes." And, as the light throbbed, Q lowered Jean-Luc onto his cock, Jean-Luc leaning against the edge of the sofa, Q on his knees in front of the sofa, and Q moved slowly in and out, and in and out. The next day was even warmer. Everyone was dressing down - thin fabrics, tee shirts, caftans. Riker in huge tan shorts. Deanna in a tight short-sleeved shirt. Jean-Luc had just finished a meeting with all the astro staff and was having tea with Tithonys and Two, when there was a door chime. "Come," he said. He'd dismissed everyone, he thought. Q came in, in a brief kilt, a black teeshirt, a smile, a rascally look in his eyes. "I know a thing or two about stars, too, Picard." "Dr. Tithonys, Dr. TWO," he shot a look at Q, "please meet Q, our resident expert on . . . a number of things." "Sit here, dear boy. Tell me everything you know, and I do mean everything," Dr. Tithonys patted a seat very close to his own. And Two's eyes grew large. And, amazingly, Q sat down and he and Dr. Tithonys began to chat about . . . stars. And after a minute, Jean-Luc and Dr. Two realized it was a real discussion . . . between two extremely knowledgeable beings. Dr. Two grew alert again and took out a padd. Jean-Luc listened as he looked over at Q, who was now talking quietly with Dr. Tithonys about comparisons between Alcibiades 131T and the last major nova near the Apra system - Q's face was so lovely, so calm, and Jean-Luc felt unspeakably happy: Q behaving so tenderly to old Dr. Tithonys; the busybody Bolian Two now taking notes and adjusting his little round glasses and even smiling; himself listening to the purr of the voice he loved, feeling his own loved skin, his dress-down uniform fitting perfectly, the air warm and wet as love. And now Q was moving those expressive long hands in the air to make a point and ducking his pretty head and lowering those black eyes as he dimpled at Dr. Tithonys. So this feeling was love. So this was what love meant. So each moment became as good as the best moment. "Well, Dr. Tithonys," Q said, "None of you two-legs leaves the room the same way. The same with stars." The best moment . . . Would that be the last moment?: well, getting it in the ass - how could Jean-Luc have lived so long without that - last night. He flushed a little, his face warmed by the pulsing of the dying star. Or the next moment: oh, yes, he would give it to Q, Q in that short kilt, pulled up, those boots, socks, bent over a desk, Jean-Luc fucking him, Jean-Luc big in him, Jean-Luc not content to fuck him, but putting a large finger in Q alongside his cock, Q screaming, himself in the slick heat of Q, tighter now than before. Before that he would make Q stand in front of him, himself seated comfortably in a nice chair, and Q would have to handle himself through the kilt. Touch himself. Oh yes. Goodness. Jean-Luc shifted a bit. And Q turned those black laser eyes to Jean-Luc and smiled and with his mind said as clearly as a sound, "Yes, I can't wait," and then turned back to Dr. Tithonys. But within a few minutes, it was easy to see Dr. Tithonys was tiring. "This is wonderful information, my dear," Tithonys cried and even Two nodded as he looked at his extensive notes. "But you must rest and I must run. Jean-Luc, I'm leaving now." "I'll be along directly, Q." They smiled in a professional fashion, but Q's eyes were bright. After he left the room, Dr. Tithonys turned to Jean-Luc. "He isn't just a good-looking boy who knows about stars, is he? He's your partner, too?" "Yes, I'm sharing my life with him." Dr. Tithonys beamed. "He reminds me of my boyfriend. Vatsa. That's short for Vaclav - Vatsa died about ten years go; we were together for over a century! Fancy that! A hundred years of love! What a boy! Sassy! Tan hair, big brown eyes, a snub nose! Little! Pretty! Oh, would he backtalk me! Said no and didn't mean it ten times a day!" He made a wheezing laugh. "Every day!" Jean-Luc laughed too. "Oh, Q's a complete rascal. So I know what you mean. Full of mischief." "Oooh, I could feel the wickedness pour off him!" They smiled as each other. Then Jean-Luc remembered his manners. "You must miss Vatsa very much." "Well, I would, but I write him everyday - I tell him what I'm doing and what I wish we were doing, I tell him what I remember best that we did, I tell him how much I Love him - it helps me a lot." Tithonys' voice lowered, "Tell me about Q." "Q is my lover, but he's also . . . my best friend." And then Jean-Luc looked down, confused: 99 per cent of all lovers since the beginning of time had uttered this same banal phrase, but it was like the cry of a newborn baby - heard a trillion times, but until one oneself made that sound and meant it, the world didn't begin. Until your lover was your best friend, you had no idea what living was like. But something about the conversation was making Dr. Two restless, and he began to make nervous little tapping sounds with his padd. Tithonys moved his veiny old hand up to his mouth. "Dr. Two doesn't approve. He's Bolian, you know? Oh, but Vatsa and I had fun! All the time! A lot of . . . emotional noise, do you know what I mean?" "Yes, actually, I do," Jean-Luc's voice was low and intimate with the elderly doctor - "after Q and I became involved, I realized how much I liked all his rattle and . . . hum . . . going on in the background." Both Jean-Luc and Dr. Tithonys rolled their eyes at Two. "Does your Q have a big willy?" Tithonys whispered. "I have some work to do," Two stood up coughing, and then Tithonys blushed. "Two is right - we have work to do." "No, no, I was enjoying our . . ." they did have work to do. "A most amusing conversation, Dr. Tithonys, I'll share it with Q," Jean-Luc called to him, but Two had already hustled Tithonys down the hall. At lunch: "Jean-Luc, I have to admit it. I started all this. I happened to whisper to Tithonys how much you had to have dick. All the time!" "Q!!!" "Yeah, and how all the old frowzy gals on the ship went eek-a-dick when I told 'em what you wanted, but I knew he'd understand." "Q," Jean-Luc sighed in exasperation. "It would take me a month to address the outright fabrications of your last sentences. First, well -- really, I have no idea where to begin -- indeed, all right, in the first place, you know you love Deanna as much as I do." Q smiled and looked down and then back up. "She's a piece, I have to admit. That gal can do some defrosting. However, she has the worst taste in men since Desdemona." "Q, stop this." "So, Jean-Luc, did you tell him it was big?" "Well . . ." "Ooo, and did you say how big? Seems a scientist would like exact figures." Jean-Luc decided he would tease Q. "Well, I would, but the size keeps . . .changing." Q rolled his eyes around the ceiling and opened his mouth: "Oh, my, it's changing sizes even as we speak, mon capitain." The pulsing light illuminated his elegant features in a most alluring manner. "See what I mean," Jean-Luc smiled, "but actually Dr. Tithonys and I couldn't swap smut because of Two sitting there glaring at us." "Bolians," Q scowled. He began to sing a little song - was it a folk song? - it seemed familiar to Jean-Luc. "We represent the Bolian league, the Bolian league, the Bolian league, and on behalf of the Bolian league, we welcome you to Bolianville." Then he looked at Jean-Luc. "Screw the blue, says Mr. Q. They're so middle-class." "I like Bolians," said Jean-Luc. "Look at Mr. Mott. He's a great barber." "So I see," said Q drily, looking at the top of Jean-Luc's head. Jean-Luc froze. Then he clasped his hands together and put them under his chin: "Well, that's it," he murmured. "Spankings all around, then." Q dimpled. And Jean-Luc grabbed him around the waist, Q was still in the kilt, and he struggled, but in one sweeping motion of his arm, Jean-Luc was able to turn Q on his stomach and pull the kilt up and straddle him, and both had been panting, but Q was naked under the kilt and at the sight of that, Jean-Luc forgot to breathe. And Q squeezed his thighs together and Jean-Luc forced his hands between those thighs, a gesture most suggestive of love's delights to both of them. In the conference room, Jean-Luc was surprised at the variety of warm-weather clothes his senior staff displayed. Only Worf and Data were in uniform. "Counselor Troi, when will we all be completely unclad?" Jean-Luc said quietly to Deanna who giggled. Data's head ticked quickly. "Oh, Captain Picard, that was a joke," he said. "Captain," said Riker lowering his head and rolling those big blue eyes up: where did he get shorts so big? "we may have a problem." "Indeed." "Some of us are . . . well . . . harboring . . . feelings about Dr. Two and Dr. Tithonys. We think Dr. Two is neglecting Dr. Tithonys, trying to muscle in on his territory." "Counselor Troi? What is your opinion on this?" "I sense very conflicted emotions from Two. Tithonys, however, is one of the merriest Terrans I've ever encountered." "To be honest, Tithonys outranks me, but Two is pretty much on the same rank as myself. I will talk to them both." But when Jean-Luc returned to the ready room, Dr. Two was already there. "Could I speak to you, Captain Picard?" He seemed subdued, sincere. "Why, of course. Let's go in the ready room." By himself, Two seemed not so stiff, not so intimidating. Lost, actually. "I . . . don't know where to begin. I sense your staff is negatively inclined towards me." Jean-Luc suddenly felt a surge of sympathy for this little man, bald and efficient, conscious of rules, highly sensitive to duty. He was very like himself before Q. Before Q warmed up the universe for him. "Dr. Two, I have every confidence in your abilities as a scientist. If my crew has given you any reason to think . . . " "No, I think they think that I don't . . . care about Dr. Tithonys." He shook his head. "Next to my family, Dr. Two is the most important person in my life. All I want is to keep him alive forever. To keep him healthy and happy forever." "That would mean you would never have his job." "Exactly. I can never be the man he is. I'm not as filled with flair. I'm boring. I'm so afraid that, when I take over after Dr. Tithonys, everyone will be so disappointed. I mean, I can handle the science. But not the . . ." There was a pause. Jean-Luc tried to think . . ."What's your family like?" "Oh, perfect! I have the most wonderful wife! We've been married for twenty five of your years, and we have two children, a boy and a girl." "You know, Dr. Two, that Tithonys wasn't born Tithonys, that he evolved into himself. Perhaps . . . love, luck, time made him what he is, made all of us what we are. It would appear that love and luck are already on your side; just give it time, now." Dr. Two sat back. There was a pause. Then he smiled. "I never thought of Tithonys evolving, but he did, but we all are, even the stars." "Even the stars." Jean-Luc stood up. "I have a wonderful woman on my ship who's a good person to talk to about careers. Counselor Troi - she's a Betazed, and somehow that makes it easier. Why don't we both have supper with her tonight? She's done me a world of good -- and she's fun." Two stood up too, and held out his hand. "You're a very evolved man, Captain. Did you have love, and luck, and time as well?" Jean-Luc blushed. And the disorienting light of the dying star made Jean-Luc and Dr. Two look like twins for a moment. The next day it was clear that the Enterprise could get no closer to Alcibidades 131T without a serious deterioration of environmental controls. As it stood, the interior temperature was close to 100 F. Dr. Two drew Jean-Luc aside: "This atmosphere is beginning to take its toll on Dr. Tithonys' health." "I was afraid of that, Dr. Two; that light and heat is getting to all of us," Jean-Luc said emphatically. "Shall we transport you both back to the Apra shuttle?" "Yes, we've got all the statistics we need now, and the unmanned fireshuttle can provide the rest. And I'd like to see my wife. We need to . . . talk." Jean-Luc gave Two a keen look: "You can shove off as soon as you like." "We can be ready to go in fifteen minutes." There were twenty or so people in the transporter room to say goodbye -- it had been quite easy to grow fond of the old man. Dr. Tithonys shook hands with everyone, and then he and Two climbed on the transporter pad. Then Jean-Luc couldn't stand it. "Dr. Tithonys," he went over to him. "Before you transport. . ." Dr. Tithonys turned to him. "Yes, Q does, you know he does." Dr. Tithonys smiled and his eyes lit up - the two older men shared a fond look: then Tithonys leaned over and Jean-Luc leaned in. A simple kiss of friendship. Dr. Tithonys reared back: "I can't wait to write Vatsa about all this! Energize!" And he and the gently smiling Bolian disappeared in a shower of sparks. "I will miss Tithonys," said the smiling Riker. Jean-Luc nodded. "Did Counselor Troi tell you to cool your photons about Two?" "Yes, she did," and Riker's smile grew broader. "Sir," said Geordi, "that constant pulsing light is beginning to decalibrate our instruments. I suggest we make sure the fireshuttle is programmed correctly and then get the hell out of town. Pretty quickly." Jean-Luc nodded again. "Warp nine?" "You got it," Geordi said. "And then we said good-bye to our new best friend, huh, Jean-Luc? Herr Doktor Two. Or as you might say, Monseiur Deux. Senor Dos." "Q, stop this." They were holding hands. "So Alcibiades was a big success, Jean-Luc?" "Umm, I suppose. What do you mean by success?" "That's what the Continuum deal was all about. Some old slow balls in the Continuum want to change the way stars check out. New energy source and so on. So we had to have a big quorum/show of hands/bla bla bla about it. I was so bored. Amanda and I just sat there and played Continuum tic tac toe." Jean-Luc looked alert. "Our tic-tac-toe involves DNA. You don't want to know." "Alcibiades was a test run? Is that why you came in and talked to Tithonys? I wondered what you were up to." "Yeah, it was kind of a customer-satisfaction survey; I just didn't have my clipboard." "You are amazing." "Hey, I like your disintegrating star too. It's dying the way it wants to die, Jean-Luc. I especially like that . . . pulse, that fading heartbeat, Jean-Luc. You know what it reminds me of." "You and me. Us. Pulsing together." "More than that. You and me in a cheap hotel - outside the window, the sign blinks: Hotel. Hotel. Hotel. You ever done that, pretty thing, you ever gone to a cheap hotel with a bad boy?" "No," Jean-Luc breathed. "You need to then; quit lollygagging. You've never done this really? I can show you how." Jean-Luc caught on to the game: "Yes, this is my first time." Q growled deep in his throat and looked him in the eye. "Let me teach you how to do it." The vast pulse of the star blinked on and off -- white light/dark, white light/dark -- and Q stood up and leaned against the wall: "I want to show you something you've never seen," and he drew out his erect cock and flicked his tongue against his teeth. "News to you, huh, that men sometimes like to show other men their big dicks. It's perfectly normal." He leaned over to Jean-Luc: "Show me yours." Jean-Luc fumbled at his fly and then drew out his aroused self. The starlight kept pulsing like a extremely slow strobe, but Q's face, his open mouth, was perfectly still, engrossed by the spectacle of Jean-Luc. "You like buttfuck talk, Jean-Luc? Get your pants off, stick out your ass, lean over that chifferobe or whatever the hell it is. Umm, I like your ass. Jesus, it's good." Q moved his hands along the front of Jean-Luc's body. "I can see it going in, I see it getting in your ass", and Jean-Luc felt it wet, wetter than usual, they were sweating in the heat, and throbbing, white light/dark, white light/dark, and the love was like the superheated air, flesh-wet and skin-warm -- and Q reached around as he fucked Jean-Luc to bring Jean-Luc off with his hand, and his hand was lubricated. White light/dark. White light/dark. "You are cherry tight," he whispered. "I'm just going to fuck you with the tip for a little, it's the most charged part of me meeting the most charged part of your asshole, the first part, depth is nice, really nice, but let's become connoisseurs of getting it in the ass. Us alone, here in the hotel, everybody's sleeping in the dark, their rhythmic innocent breaths, and you alone have awakened, you alone are sitting here pink-faced and dry-mouthed and getting it in the ass and there's me. And the light keeps blinking." White light/dark. White light/dark. One hand was on Jean-Luc's cock and the other was on the back of Jean-Luc's neck, stroking, rubbing, pinching - white light/dark, white light/ dark, and suddenly the pulse of Jean-Luc and Q was the pulse of the star and the light and Jean-Luc was a part of the world around him - he was getting it in the ass and it was no different than what was heating his skin in rhythmic pulses -- white light/dark, white light/dark --and he was at one with everything and was this eternity and he didn't need to come and but he supposed he might at some time but it would be the same as living and he came and came and Q hadn't come yet and so Q said, "Am I that good?", and Jean-Luc didn't want to speak, he was too dreamy and warm, white light/dark, white light/dark, but he told Q, "Talk to me, make me hard again, I do like buttfuck talk." "Open your eyes." "Yes." Q withdrew completely. "Look at it again." And Jean-Luc did, as Q gripped himself, long, bigger at the base than at the tip; "Now let's look at you," and Jean-Luc held himself at his root, making his cock rise. "We're showing each other our dicks," Q whispered. "Let me eat you out for a while; then back to the assfucking." And Jean-Luc found a chair and sat back and let Q use his mouth, until they both came. When it was over, Q flashed them clean and then raved, "Wow, that was great! Longer! Hotter! Wetter! It reminds me of something I have been wanting to talk to you about." Jean-Luc climbed into bed. "I love you, but just come to bed. I'm a bit tired for major love-policy switches." "Oh, yeah, well, and I'm tired too. Tired of not fucking you!" "What? What did we just do?" He was exhausted but he listened delighted to Q who snuggled beside him and held him. Sleeping in the light of the dying star was a most interesting experience. "You have to admit most of our time is spent not fucking though; it's always just work-fuck-snack-fuck-snooze, work- fuck-snack-fuck-snooze. Maybe every now and then some interaction with the little-trained-minion jamboree that's always going on. How like a fire ant! So ordinary! I'm a god, remember? And if I don't start getting it more regularly, I'll be a wrathful god and then, good buddy, your ass will be grass in a number of dimensions." "We can't make love every second of the day." "Oh, yes, we can. I've made a code!!!!!!" "Hmm?" "See, check it out: for example when I say, for example, the word Riker what I'm really saying is I'm getting out my rhythm stick and I'm going to wrop your ass and when you say, Worf you're really saying, okay, cutie, let's rock some booty. And when you say tea, Earl Grey, hot what you really mean is Q is really doing some packing now. Etc. Etc." "I love you, Q; this is an intriguing notion, certainly. But if I don't get some sleep, I'm going to end up looking like Tithonys. Or Two." "I'll just whisper to you as you drowse. And when I say mon capitain what I really mean is yes, Momma, I sure would love me a second helping of that there Jean-Luc; aww, you remembered, Momma, my favorite part is the drumstick. And when you say, umm, stop this, Q, you're really saying oh Mr. Man, what's that that is so big in your hand?" And Jean-Luc's eyes closed and he smiled in his sleep. And Q was perfectly awake and smiling: "I love you, mon capitain. I'm just kidding, you know. You're always in me and I'm always in you. Always." And the intensity awoke Jean-Luc one last time: "Darling!" Q breathed, "I didn't mean to wake you!" He covered Jean-Luc's face with soft kisses. "I have something urgent to tell you," Jean-Luc murmured. "I can't leave you now even in my sleep. Tithonys showed me . . . eternal love; now I know what an undying love means. Tithonys showed me!" Q frowned. "I see. Thank you very much. So it's ABQ. Anybody But Q. I try to show you every second how eternal love is, but only when some random old mammal appears on the street does Jean-Luc get it. Jean-Luc says, say, Grandpa, what color is the sky? And Gramps says, Charles Dickens!, and then Jean-Luc says, oh Father Time, what's two and two? and Gramps says, ratfood! and then Jean-Luc says oh graybearded wise one, and what is love? and Gramps says, eternal! And you storm back in, panting, excited, your little monkey face flushed with excitement, Q, Q, Q!! Guess what! Real love is eternal! I just heard it on the street! Wow, this just in!!!!! Jean-Luc, dear, for over twenty years, I've demonstrated what eternal undying fathomless passion is, and doing a pretty good job, if I do say so myself . . . for Pete's sake, Jean-Luc . . . the answer was always in our arms." "Q," Jean-Luc was groggy, adoring, and astonished. Q looked at him and smiled: "Aw, hell, Jean-Luc, let's bicker in your dreams tonight, and we can kiss and make up tomorrow when you get up." "Make it so," Jean-Luc murmured and fell asleep again. And that was how they spent that night as the Enterprise sped from the silver of Alcibiades 131T to the deep cobalt of space. The End
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