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Easy As ABC
by The Enigmatic Big Miss Sunbeam
"Boy, now I called you to sick bay because I heard some pretty outrageous things about the way you been acting." "Chapel came to my room uninvited, and frankly I do not care for her brand of soup." "Don't you think that girl deserves a little bit of your attention after all this time in outer space?" "Entertaining . . . ship personnel is not in my job description." "Fiesty behavior, I have to say, for one of you Vulcans." "Gentle remonstrations such as mine was are well within the boundaries of my species' character." "How about telling me what's really going on, boy?" "I'm afraid I . . . am . . . in . . . the first stages of . . . the Vulcan . . .cycle." "Jim's on shore leave, idn't he?" "Kirk, as captain, would logically be the one to whom I . . . come with my dilemma." "Logic's not going to make that swelling go down." "My fever, I am afraid, will rage unabated unless . . . we do something." "Necessity is the mother of invention, Spock; let's take a peek in my doctor's bag." "Ordinary medical preducres have not thus far proved efficacious when I reach this point in the cycle." "Ponn farr, according to my understanding, might need a magician, not an old country doctor like me." "Quaint phraseology, doctor." "Recline on this here examination table, boy." "Since this condition lasts for some time, you may well have to utilize some unorthodox invasive medical treatments." "Tell me how this feels." "Urrggh!" "Vulcans are a damn funny race; I've got to be as careful as a hound dog on a ice pond." "What else are you intending to do?" "X-rays and space rays, beads and rattles won't do the job, I'm here to tell you." "You mean . . .?" "Zippers down, Mr. Spock, and I ain't just whistling dixie!" The End |